Fixing the past
by LexieBelikova
Summary: Dimitris charge has to leave court, which means he has to leave too... now two years later he comes back, can he fix what he destroyed when he left? Will he be forgiven or will the love of his life hold it against him?
1. Chapter 1

**Dimitris Point of view**

No.

No, no, no, no, NO!

This isnt happening, this cant be happening... Not yet... Not when I havent told her! She has to know the truth!... She has to know I didnt mean it...

My mind was raging at me, the unspilled tears stinging at my eyes as I watched in horrifyingly slow motion as the scene unfolded infront of me.

She truely looked like an avenging angel, her long dark hair flying around her in beautiful locks as she moved with so much grace around her attacker. Aiming blow after amazing blow at his rock hard, body. Her gorgeous deep brown eyes trained solely on him as she danced around him, dodging hit after hit.  
I could see the glistening drops of sweat leaving a trail across her forehead, seeing the energy slowly draining from her as her moves got sloppier and sloppier... I wanted to help her... But I couldnt move, I couldnt even lift my head from where I lay sprawled on the hard rocky ground... I was useless...

I willed her to keep going, to keep fighting, trying in vain to push what little strength I had left to her... She had to survive, she just had to beat him... I felt the darkness closing in, dark clouds covering my vision, creeping like tendrils across my eyes. I couldnt pass out.. I had to make sure she beat him, I had to make sure my love was safe... It was no use, the darkness was closing in on me, my strength was fading.

I suddenly felt so weak that I couldnt even hold back the tears, they trailed one by one down my cheek and I felt them as they left my skin to make a small splash on the hard ground. This was it. This was quite possibly the last time I would see my perfect angel... and she didnt even know that I still love her... I love her more than anything else in this entire world, even more than my own life... Why had I been so foolish, why did I put my job before her, before the love of my life.

I was stupid to think that I could go on with my life without her in it, without her knowing how I felt... I had been a fool for telling her that she meant nothing to me, that my job, my charge, was more important to me than she was... It was rediculous, Nothing in this world would ever compare to her.

My Roza...

I watched her through my waning vision, my heart clenching and ripping into pieces as I saw her being held against the far wall. I could see her face over the shoulder of the strigoi that held her there, his arms locked on her shoulder so that she was helpless, unable to move a single muscle.  
She held a look of pure hatred and defiance on her face as she glared at him, I could see determination and the fight to live in her eyes... untill she glanced over his shoulder and caught my eye...

With that one look everything else faded away, all I could see were her breathtaking features, her bruised and bloody face still as perfect as the day I first saw her. Her eyes changed, holding only pure love, pain, saddness and regret... the same emotions that I hoped were conveyed in my own eyes. I watched her bottom lip tremble as she stared into my own eyes, I tried with all I had left in me to lift my head, willing my body to listen to me and to get up off the ground and save her.

I would do anything to save her right now, even at the cost of my own life... but it was useless, not one of my muscles would work, they all screamed in agony at me.

The darkness was getting too much, I felt it taking over. I gazed at Roza with pure love, hoping that she understood the emotions and the regrets that I tried to pass to her just as my vision blurred.

And I was sucked completely into darkness...

* * *

Time had no meaning, I could have been here for minutes, hours maybe even days, It was like I was engulfed in a sea of black... just floating...

And then suddenly it was like a movie playing on a big screen... I saw flickers of my mama making black bread in our family home in Russia... My youngest sister Viktoria learning how to ride a bike with karo and sonya my other sisters clapping for her,... I gasped as I saw Ivan, my childhood best friend, and my first charge, his smiling face as we walked down the halls of St Basils...

It was playing as though it was on fast foreward, every scene moving foreward at double time... untill it slowed down...

I was looking at a face, through a window from a distance. I instantly recognised Rose. Sitting in the apartment, keeping Lissa alive by giving her blood... I saw her look out the window at me, her eyes catching mine and all I wanted to do was run to her, run to her and wrap my arms around her...

It fast forewarded again through our time at Saint Vladimirs, the stolen kisses, whispered 'I love yous' and heated training sessions, my heart clenched in agony as I watched how happy she was... how happy she was with me...and how completely happy I was...

I watched with pride again as she graduated, revieving her diploma and the way she had jumped for joy, screaming in delight as she was told she would be Lissas guardian. The way she threw her arms around my neck and we had kissed infront of everyone for the first time, making our relationship public...

It slowed right down to our last days together at court... when I turned her world upside down, and destroyed her...


	2. Chapter 2

**two years earlier**

"Strigoi!"

I whirled around at the voice knowing instantly who it was.

I was standing outside the coffee shop waiting while my charge was inside getting coffee, dont ask me how it happened, but I had been forced to be assigned to Tasha Ozera much to my dismay, dont get me wrong I grew up with her, but she was my last choice for a charge seeing as how she wanted me to be more than that, but I didnt, my heart was somewhere else entirely, everyone knew that but it didnt stop her trying.

"Strigoi have broken the wards!" Rozas voice called out again more frantic than the first time. I froze, my eyes darting around all over the place, scanning the area for immediate danger. The sirens started blaring causing every single person to whip their heads around and then frantically race towards the safety of a building. Guardians were rushing to their moroi and unassigned ones were making sure everyone was getting to safety and securing the area.

Tasha ran out of the coffee shop, her eyes wide as she looked around, searching for me I guess because When her eyes landed on me she visibly sighed with relief and then barralled into me.

"Dimka, lets go, we have to get out of here." She cried, wrapping an arm around mine and pulling me towards moroi housing. I was about to follow when I heard a scream, it pierced through me.

I spun around, my eyes flicking past the buildings before pausing on a sight that almost had me on my knees.

Between two of the buildings I could see Rose standing against a wall, facing two strigoi, I wouldnt have been as worried as I felt until I looked properly at her. One of her arms was bent in an unnatural way, like it had been snapped to the side. She had blood trickling down her forehead and I could tell she was panting like she had already been fighting for hours.

"Come on Dimka, shes a guardian she can handle herself, Im your charge, youre supposed to get me to saf-" Tasha cut her self off as I took a couple of large strides away from her.

The need I felt to get to Roza, to help her was overpowering my willingness to do my duty... I knew it was wrong, I knew Tasha was right, I had taken an oath as her guardian to protect her above all... _They come first_... only right now, in my mind, it sounded foolish, no one comes first in my heart except for my Roza... and right now she could die.

"Roza!" I yelled as I watched her use her good arm to attack one of the strigoi, her stake expertly ripping into the skin of his chest. I honestly dont know how she did it, but with one arm she managed to pierce his heart and make him crumple to the ground just as another guardian appeared by her side and fought against the second strigoi.

I heard a scream behind me, turning my head to see Tasha backing up slowly in my direction, another strigoi stalking towards her with a hungry expression. I glanced once more at Roza, she was heading towards the palace clutching her broken arm, no doubt to where Lissa was.

I turned back to Tasha in time to see her clench her fists and the strigoi burst into flames, screaming in agony. I ran at him and plunged my stake into his chest, yanking it back out as he crumpled to the ground.

"What the hell Dimka!" Tasha all but screamed at me as I walked her towards her housing again, checking every corner and dark space for any strigoi lurking around.

I honestly didnt know how to reply, I knew the way I had reacted back there was bad, I shouldnt have hesitated, I shouldnt have been more worried about Roza than my own charge, the person I have sworn my life to protect... People may know about my relationship with Roza, but Dhamir Dhampir relationships are still frowned upon, many moroi still dont like it...And I guess this is why, if guardians are more worried about protecting other guardians then Moroi are the ones that will end up dying... and thats exactly what I had done, I had almost left my charge, mostly, unprotected and she could have died had she not been a fire wielder who actually practices offensive magic.

We got up to her room, searching every area inside to make sure it was secure before I went to stand at the window to keep a look out, while Tasha stood in the middle of the room scowling furiously at me.

"Im sorry ok, honestly Tasha, I dont know what I was thinking back there..." I said sighing and running a hand through my hair.

"I sure as hell do, you were thinking about her. You were going to leave me defenseless to go and save her. Dimka, youre supposed to be MY guardian, youre supposed to protect me, I could have died." She had tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"I...I know theres no excuse...but I promise you it will never happen again." I tried to sound as convincing as I possibly could, even though I could feel it in my heart that as long as I knew Roza was in danger that there was always a very, very big possibility its exactly what I would do again... she would always come first to me...

"You're right, it wont... Because we are leaving court." She said giving me a hard stare and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Wha... What?" I asked disbelief clear in my voice, my eyebrows knotting together as I stared at her.

"You heard me, Your duty is to me Dimka, and as long as you are here, where you are distracted by her then you will never protect me like you are sworn too... We will leave for Russia first thing tomorrow." She said, finality clear in her voice as she turned from me and stormed her way into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

I was frozen to the spot, my mind didnt want to comprehend what she had just said. She was forcing me to leave? She was taking me away from court because I wasnt doing my job... I knew in the back of my mind that it was the right thing to do, I had lived my whole life believing that my duty comes first, and it should. We are trained right from childhood to protect moroi life above all else... but the minute I met Roza all of that went out the window...

Maybe this is the right thing to do? I turned my eyes back to the window, still checking for strigoi though I had seen none since we came up here... My mind was whirling as I tried to decide wether It was the right thing to do...

I sighed as I realised that yes, the right thing to do is to go with Tasha, to be her guardian, her proper guardian, without the.. distractions... but could I really leave my Roza behind? It would be like leaving my heart and soul behind, but its my duty... Its my duty as a guardian... As a dhampir... Duty before Love, that had to become my new mantra... They come first, duty before love...

But...how do I tell Roza?

* * *

"Come on Dimka, our flight leaves in an hour." Tasha called from the living room.

I cant believe im going though with this, I cant believe Im going to leave the love of my life behind so that I focus on my job. My job protecting a women that, although I have been friends with her since childhood, I didnt want to follow halfway around the world.

I carried her bags out of the room and stood by the front door, since I barely had any possessions worth taking, all I needed was a duffle bag and I could sort that out once all of her gear was loaded onto the plane.  
We walked solemnly, well I did, Tasha practically skipped all the way to the plane on the other side of court.

Once her bags were loaded she said she was going to say goodbye to Christian and some of her friends and that she would meet me here in an hour... I guess this was it, no more procrastinating, no more putting off the inevitable. I had to go and find her.

I walked over to the guardian apartments and up to her room, pausing outside her white door to try and collect my thoughts... how was I going to do this... theres no way she will like the fact that Im leaving, she wont let me. I know she will put up a fight, I wouldnt even put it past her to go and hunt down Tasha and beat her because of it...

I had been up all night last night figuring out how to make her see that this was the best thing to do... I had decided that, no matter how much it hurt me, and it would hurt more than anything in the entire world, but I had to make her believe I _wanted _to go, that I _wanted _to leave her behind...

I knocked on the door, listening as I heard the banging around and shuffling of feet. It was early so I knew she would probably have still been in bed...  
She flung the door open, an agitated scowl on her face until she registered that it was me, then her face lit up and a huge smile graced her beautiful face. Her eyes, despite the sleep still in them, shone with joy to see me...

My heart ripped as I thought about what I was about to do.

"Comrade, good morning." She smiled, lifting herself onto her toes and wrapping her arms around my neck, she must have gotten Lissa to heal her arm since yesturday. It was an automatic response that I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest and nuzzling my face into her hair, I inhaled her scent, the vanilla and floral scent that was purely My Roza.

I would miss this, I would miss the feel of her skin against mine, the beat of her heart against my chest when I held her, the smell of her skin... it was like heaven to me, I was only ever truely at peace when I was with her.

I must have held onto her longer than usual, because she pulled back with a puzzled expression on her face. "Comrade? Whats wrong?"

She knew me too well, my mouth turned down into a frown and I bit into my bottom lip.  
Releasing my grip on her, I pulled her into the room by her hand moving over and sitting down beside her on the couch.

I held both of her hands in mine, rubbing small circles on the back of them as I looked at the floor, trying to find the words to start the conversation we were about to have.

"Dimitri?" She asked quietly, lowering her head slightly but still looking up into my eyes.

"Roza... I... Tashas leaving." I started and then paused, waiting for her to catch on to my words. It only took a second, her eyebrows knotted as she looked at me, her confused look turning to one of anger.

"What do you mean, shes leaving? But... you're her guardian...How long is she going for?" She asked, I could tell she was trying to keep her voice low.

"For good... she... _WE're_ moving to Russia."

She yanked her hands out of mine, standing up from her seat as she started pacing in front of me.

"No, she cant do this, Dimitri you cant go... Dont go... We can make her get another guardian" She started rambling angrily.

"Rose, I was assigned to her by the queen herself, shes not going to be able to just get another guardian." I tried to explain. She knew that the queen had specifically told me to be her guardian, the queen was adamant that I had to be the one to do it because Tasha would need the best of the best when she started training other Moroi to use their elements offensively and since Lissa had Rose, she didnt really need me. The strigoi wouldnt like the fact Tasha was training moroi, so she would be a target for them.

"I dont care! There are other guardians out there capable of doing it, and she knows how to use her fire! She doesnt need you! Dimitri you cant go... We'll sort something out..."

"Roza, Im going... I have to go." I replied, standing up to stop her pacing.

"No you dont!" She said, she even stamped her foot in anger.

"Yes I do, Roza...You dont understand... They come first! That attack yesturday, I almost let her die and shes my charge! I put YOU before her, I saw you being attacked by those two strigoi down there and I started running towards YOU leaving her practically defenceless!" I ended up yelling the last bit, trying to get my point across.

Her eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears. She bit her bottom lip and moved her eyes so that she was looking to the left instead of at me.

After a moments silence she murmured, "_You're _leaving me." putting emphasis on the 'youre'. It hurt me to hear her say it, and it hurt more that I couldnt deny it. Because I was. I was leaving her here, I didnt know when or_ if_ I would see her again... in our line of work either one of us could be killed...

"I dont mean anything to you do I?" She asked, her voice trembling just a little.

I was shocked that she would ever think that, how could she? I would tell her how much I loved her everyday, I would always show her how much I did. "How could you even say that Roza?"

"You're leaving me Dimitri... You dont seem to even find it that hard to leave, you're acting so _calm _about it... You _want _to go dont you? How long have you known?" She asked, her voice taking on an accusing tone. Though she still wouldnt look at me.

I shook my head, "She decided last night. And If I had the choice you know I would stay, but I dont. I dont have a say in it Rose, They come first, thats how I was raised, its how you were raised."

She lifted her chin higher slightly, as if she was trying to defy what I said, I knew she was trying to come up with an argument but its true, every dhampir is taught right from birth that Moroi life is more important, that we need to protect them.

"Im sorry Roza... I have to go... You understand dont you?" I asked, hoping more than anything that she did...

"Sure, I understand perfectly Guardian Belikov." My heart broke into a million pieces hearing her use my formal title. Her tone was a mix of anger and hurt, and I could see the pain in her eyes as she turned back to me. She knew this was it for us, that I was leaving which meant that I was leaving our relationship, leaving our love behind.

"Roz-"

"Dont. Just dont. Get out Dimitri, go on, go and take care of your _charge_" She said raising both of her hands palm faced up towards me as she turned her head away from me.

I dont know what came over me, I got so furious at the way she was acting. "Stop being a child Rose! I would never make you chose between me and your charge! I would never force you to chose between me and Lissa, why must you make this so difficult!" I said, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

She looked at me like I had just slapped her, but she didnt say anything in response.

"Our plane leaves in half an hour, I really hope I see you there before I leave..." I said, looking at her once more, but she was looking out the window, her face hidden from me. I knew she wouldnt say anything else to me, I had hurt her with that last bit but maybe... just maybe it was better this way...

I turned around and left the room, closing her door behind me and leaning against it as tears filled my eyes.

* * *

Half an hour later, as I walked up the steps of the plane I turned around, my eyes sweeping the area one last time... nothing... she wasnt coming... there was a chance after this plane takes off that I would never see my Roza again...and she wasnt coming to say goodbye either... I had destroyed the one thing I held closest to me...

My Roza...


	3. Chapter 3

**Present day**

_"Dimitri... Dimitri come on...wake up... Please..."_

I could hear the voice echoing in the blackness... It was the voice that had always made my heart beat faster, It was the sweetest voice in my world... Its been so long since Ive heard her voice...

_"Dimitri... Please...Just wake up..."_

She sounded so... Scared... And so sad...

Wait... Im sleeping?... I tried to remember what happened... How I got here... Strigoi?...

Thats it, I remember fighting... Being thrown against a solid wall, the sickening, painful thud of my head hitting the wall... Crumbling to the floor and being unable to move...and... And watching her fight alone...

Wait! If shes talking to me... Then shes alive! She must have made it!

I struggled through the darkness, I had no idea how to get out, no idea which way was up, which way was down, all I knew was that I needed to get to her, to see her face, to hold her again and apologise for being that stupid fool and leaving her, for making her think I didnt love her... But I do! I love her so much! I never went a day without thinking about her... I need her to know!

I struggled in the darkness, pushing my way forward, I could make out the blur of light ahead of me...

Then suddenly my eyes flickered open, the light bursting painfully against my eyes. It was blinding after the darkness Id been engulfed in for so long.

I clenched them closed again, trying to stifle the burning feeling the light caused.

I heard the sharp intake of breath followed by the soft "Dimitri..." that she whispered.

My eyes shot open, ignoring the painfully bright light as my vision cleared and I was finally able to make out the soft silhouette of my beautiful Roza, her long wavy hair framing her face and falling down her front as she leaned foreward towards me from her seat next to the bed I was in. Her face was beaten and bruised, a deep gash on her forehead, but I swear she has never looked more beautiful than she did right now.

I slowly, carefully lifted one hand and brushed my fingers down her cheek softly, she closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.

"I thought you were dead." she barely whispered, I watched as a tear escaped from her closed eye and trailed its way down her cheek. There have only ever been a couple of times in my life where I have known this strong, amazing women to cry and I hated it every time... A women like her should never be put through anything that caused her pain... And yet every time Ive witnessed it, it has been because of me...

"Oh Roza..." my voice was hoarse and dry, my throat ached like I hadnt had water in months. She looked up at me, wiping away the moisture from her eyes before reaching out and handing me a glass of water from the table beside the bed.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position, my muscles aching like nothing Ive felt before, every muscle and tendon in my body felt bruised. I gulped back the water, feeling the water flow down my throat and into my stomach it was that dry.

"Better?" she asked, taking the now empty glass from me and setting it back down.

"yes... Thankyou Roza." I smiled weakly at her, my eyes wandering over her face, refreshing every single little detail that has already been etched in my mind since the day I fell in love with her.

"what happened?" I asked, running my hand through my lose hair.

"you were knocked unconcious... I... Eddie killed the strigoi that had me pinned, then the rest of them disappeared. All of the moroi they took were all right, we got them all out."

She had a hesitant look on her face, her eyes looking everywhere except at me. I dont blame her, she probably still hates me for what I said and for leaving her the way I did.

"well... Im glad you're awake again... Ill go and let _Tasha_ know. I bet shes dying to see you..." she almost growled her name like it was a dirty word as she stood up and took a few steps away. It hurt more than it should have for me to watch her walking away from me, I wanted to make her stay, to keep her by my side forever...

"Roza... Wait." I spoke before I had even figured out what I was going to say. She stopped at the door, her hand pressed against the metal as she turned her head to look at me. Her face looked so torn, like she was fighting herself not to turn around and come back... Oh how I wish she would... "How... How long have I been... Unconcious?"

Her face dropped slightly, like it wasnt what she wanted to hear... What did she want to hear? I wonder if... No she couldnt want me back after what I did...

"three days." she answered bluntly, turning back to the door as she added, "Goodbye Dimitri."

"Roza... Im...Im sorry..." I didnt know what else to say, I didnt want her to leave without knowing how truely sorry I am.

Her body tensed and when she turned back to look at me she looked angry, "Sorry? Sorry for what exactly Dimitri?!" she asked, her voice raising slightly.

I flinched at her tone, I had expected her to be angry... only I hadnt really _expected _it.

"Dimka!? Hes awake?!" I heard a shrill voice practically scream from down the hallway, Rose definitely heard it to because her whole body tensed even more and she sucked in a breath. Without even looking back at me she pushed her way out of the door and was gone.

I barely had time to register that she left as Tasha bowled through the doors, flinging them open wide and rushing towards me. She threw her arms around my neck, making a loud groan escape my lips as she bashed into my aching muscles.

"ohh sorry Dimka." She gushed, letting me go slightly. "are you ok? you're not seriously hurt are you? I thought you were going to die on me!" She was speaking but I was barely paying attention, my eyes trained on the door wishing that my Roza would come waltzing back in with that beautiful sarcastic grin she would wear and pass some witty remark about it taking so long for me to wake up.

"...Dimka?" I realised Tasha was looking at me with a confused but expectant expression, I figured she must have asked me something.

"Sorry, what?" I asked turning my attention back to her.

"I asked if you knew when you would be fit to leave? We were supposed to go home tomorrow." She spoke, an oddly happy smile on her face.

"uhh I dont know... I just woke up, Im not even sure whats wrong with me yet." I replied, playing with the bed sheet without actually looking at Tasha. I wondered if she could tell my hesitance the way Roza would have...

"oh, well Ill go ask"

Nope, she doesnt get me like Rose does... I sighed again as Tasha walked out of the room.

We came back to court four days ago to visit Christian and Lissa, we havent been back here since leaving two long years ago.

The day we arrived there was an attack just outside the gates, they had taken a group of royals who had been coming back from town. I was sent to rescue them with Rose and a group of other guardians, it was there that we were basically overpowered in the caves a few miles from court.

I guess it had been a shock for Rose, she didnt even realise I was here untill I had jumped into the van that she was driving. She'd just sat there, mouth open and staring at me like she was seeing a ghost, I swear her face paled slightly, I couldnt find any words to say to her, just seeing her face again after so long left me speechless.

She had composed herself, still saying nothing to me as she turned back and Started driving the van...

I must have been dozing off thinking about it, since the next thing I knew Tasha was back in the room talking loudly to me, without realising I had been sleeping.

"Dimka, good news, you dont have any real injuries, you're just on light duties for a week, And Ive extended our stay untill after you're all better to fly." She babbled away.

I was glad to hear that I wouldnt be stuck in here much longer, and the fact that we were going to be here for a while longer sent my heart racing. This could be my chance to make things right with Rose, I hated thinking that she hated me...

* * *

I needed to get out of this room, Tasha was practically suffocating me. Since leaving the hospital this afternoon she has been constantly by my side, not giving me a single moments peace and its driving me insane.

"Im going to go for a walk, Ill be back in a bit." I said making my way to the door.

"ok, let me get my coat..."

"No, no its ok, you stay here I wont be long." I said, opening the door and walking swiftly out.

I made my way as quickly as my still rather sore body would carry me down the stairs and out of the building into the cool night air.

I walked around court, I know it sounds rather pathetic but every single place I went reminded me of her. I admit, 100% that since leaving I have turned into a lovesick sorry excuse for a man. I should have fought for her, I should have argued with Tasha, I should have done more...

Id been so lost in my internal torment that I wasnt watching where I was walking, so I crashed right into the person in front of me.

"sorry..." I mumbled still not looking up as I walked around the person and started to carry on.

"Is that it?" A soft voice asked,

I froze, how was I so blind... I whipped around faster than my sore muscles liked.

"Im sorry Rose... I didnt realise it was you" I breathed out, taking in all of her. She was dressed in the most beautiful strapless deep purple dress, it stopped just above her knees, and gathered underneath her bust.

I dont know what my expression was but it made her blush a soft pink. "Where are you off to?" She asked, eyeing me warily.

"...no where in particular..." I answered tearing my eyes away from her.

"Well... Im glad to see you're up and about already..." She said quietly.

"thanks... Where are you all dressed up to go?" I asked, unable to hide the curiousity in my voice.

I was honestly surprised that we were having such a civilised conversation...

"Lissas holding a dinner... Would you like to come... or do you need to be back with your _charge_?" She asked, her nose scrunching up slightly at the word charge. I pulled out my phone, sending a quick text to Tasha to let her know I wouldnt be back for dinner.

"I'd love to come Rose... Are you sure Princess Dragomir will be fine with it?" I asked taking a couple of steps closer to her.

"Yes Lissa will be fine with it, im sure... Christian on the other hand..." She said smiling slightly at me.

I couldnt believe how much I had missed that smile, the photos I have of her just dont do any justice to the real thing, not at all. I knew what she meant when she said he wouldnt be happy... he knew I hurt Rose but I was surprised, I would have thought for sure Lissa would be the one to hate me for what I did...

"come on then." she said turning and walking the way I had come, her heels clicking on the concrete. We walked along in silence, it was a comfortable silence though which was just as good as conversation to me. It had always been like this with us... before... we didnt need words, we could convey what we needed to with just a look... god I wished it was still like that...

We reached the door to Lissas, Rose didnt bother knocking she just waltzed on in so I followed behind her.

"Liss Im here. And Ive bought one extra, I hope you dont mind." She said loud enough for Lissa to hear from the kitchen.

"Sure thing Rose... Who is-" Lissa started asking, until she walked out and caught sight of me.

She looked to Rose, studying her face... I noticed Rose nod just once but I still caught it. Lissa must have been asking her something through the bond.

"Hello Princess." I bowed slightly to her, I knew she hated it but I felt the need to be formally polite since I was now technically a guest in their house.

"Dimitri." She nodded before adding, "Its Lissa, you should know that." She sent me a genuine looking smile so I return to it, nodding as I did.

"Dimitri? Is Aunt Tasha here?" Christian asked walking into the room beside Lissa.

"No, Shes in moroi housing at the moment." I answered truthfully.

Just as I finished answering there was a knock at the door, We all moved off to the living room except for Lissa who went to open the door. I presumed that it would be one of their other friends until I heard the voice.

"Oh Lissa, I hope you dont mind, I thought I would bring over a bottle of bubbly and some cake." Tasha spoke cheerfully.

I heard Rose groan from her position on the couch, I couldnt help but glance at her and chuckle at the annoyed look on her face.

As soon as our eyes met I could tell that she wanted to say so much more, but she was holding her tongue because they had both just entered the room. Tasha looking as though she was surprised to see us all in there, but Rose and I both knew that she s faking it since I had texted her and told her where I was and why.

Rose snorted when she saw me roll my eyes, causing her to get odd looks from everyone.

She just shrugged her shoulders, "Im hungry, is food done yet?" She asked looking to Christian.

"If I said no you'd probably hit me... So yes... food is done." Christian said sarcastically, a huge smirk on his face.

Rose was the first to rise and literally race into the dining room, I waited where I was, not wanting to rush and upset my muscles, god I felt like such an old man right now.

When I did eventually get there I paused for a moment, taking in the seating arrangement. Christian and Lissa were at one side of the table, Tasha was at the end, then an empty seat and then Rose... Looks like I get to sit beside Rose... I tried to hide the smile that threatened to creep onto my face as I took my seat, sliding in gracefully beside her.

As soon as I was seated, I rested both my hands on the table...where Tasha immediately did the same, only she rested her hand on top of one of mine.

I looked at her, where she was trying to, I guess, smile seductively at me, then down to our hands, before moving my hand out from under hers to pick up the glass of wine in front of me, taking a long sip of it.

Thats how most of the dinner went, I would place my hand on the table and she would try and hold it, or she would try to rest it on my knee or my thigh under the table, not being very subtle about it either.

I tried to hold conversations with Rose, asking her questions but I swear, everytime she started to answer Tasha would talk over her about something else. Towards the end I could tell Rose was getting fed up with her.

"So Roza, what's Eddie doing these days?" I asked, running out of general things to talk about.

"Oh he's work-"

"Oh my gosh Christian this wine is amazing, what is this one called? Its soooo much better than the one I bought." Tasha spoke loudly across the table.

Rose slammed her fork down on the table, clattering it against her plate, everyones eyes whipped up at her and there was silence. She stood up, slapping her palms against the table as she glared at Tasha.

"Thats it, Im sick of you. Thanks for dinner Liss, but if I hang around this tramp any longer I swear I will punch her face. Come on Dimitri, lets go and catch up outside." She said turning to look at me and then walked out of the room .

I paused where I was for a moment, slightly shocked at the sudden outburst, but collected myself. "Thankyou both for the amazing meal, it was delicious." I said rising up from the table.

"Dimka? You're not seriously going out there with her are you? Wouldnt you find it better company to stay in here with us?" Tasha asked.

"No its ok, I want to catch up with Rose, Its been two years since Ive last spoken to her after all." I replied, trying to act as non challant as I could, in my mind I was excited to be able to spend some time with Rose, catching up and hopefully apologising properly. I couldnt understand how she was acting so... nice... to me after the way we left things...

I walked out of the sliding door and onto the deck that was off the living room. The sun was slowly coming up over the horizon, casting a pinky orange glow over the still slightly black night sky. Rose was sitting at the edge of the deck, her legs dangling over the side, sipping on the glass of wine I hadnt even realised she had bought out with her.

"How the hell have you put up with that?" She asked sarcastically, not even turning to see that it was me.

"Shes really not that bad... usually." I answered, moving over to sit beside her, dangling my longer legs off as well, its a good thing this deck was higher than normal ones.

Rose just snorted in response, she never did like Tasha, it didnt help at all when I was made her guardian...

"So how have you really been Roza?" I sucked it up and asked.

She shrugged her shoulders looking away from me, "How do you think Ive been Dimitri? Ive just been going through ever day, being Lissas guardian, putting my life on the line for my charge...just like you." I could hear a hint of sarcasm as well as sadness in her voice, I could tell she was holding something back, she wanted to say something more but wouldnt.

"What is it?" I asked, turning my body slightly so that I was facing her more.

She skulled back what was left in her wine glass, putting it back on the deck and turning to face me, so that our knees were only barely touching, but that same familiar spark from before was there, the same one that would tingle through me everytime we touched

"Everyday for the last two years, all Ive done is thought about what you said... about not protecting your charge because of me... Dimitri I spent so long blaming you for leaving me, angry that you couldnt trust my strength and my skill, I believed that you didnt think I was good enough to protect myself or to be able to keep myself alive, And being angry at the fact that you chose her over me, but I get it now. I understand why you felt you had to go... and its ok. You thought it was the right thing to do... Its our duty, its all we were born to do." She said, her eyes slightly shining with tears.

"Roza... You have no idea how much I hate what I did, how much I Wish I could go back... I never would have left. Ive spent every day thinking about you, wishing that I was still here with you. I should have fought for you, I should have atleast tried, I never should have put her before you..." I couldnt help the waver in my voice at the end, the emotions that were welling up inside me as I finally spoke the words to her that I have been wanting to say for so long now.

I watched the tear slip from her eye, my hand moving of its own accord to her cheek, my thumb caught the tear and wiped it away.

"Im so sorry Roza." I whispered. "I wish we could go back."

She closed her eyes, shaking her head lightly side to side untill her hand moved up and held my own to her cheek, I hadnt even realised that mine still lingered there.

"Dimitri... I-"

Footsteps came stamping out from the living room cutting off what she was about to say, We both looked up to see Tasha marching out to us, a murderous scowl on her face.


	4. Chapter 4

"you man stealing, wannabe bloodwhore!" Tasha screeched as she stomped out onto the deck.

I sat there in shock, I had never heard Tasha react like that to anything, no matter how angry she got she was always so reserved, keeping most of her opinions to herself, especially if they were negative.

Rose was faster to compose herself then I was, she released my hand and stood up, I felt the loss of her contact immediately.  
"What the hell is your problem, you dont know anything!" she growled back, her fists clenched at her sides.

"You are my problem, he left you to fullfill his duty as _my _guardian, now we've been back for barely a week and youre already trying to steal him back from me." Tasha accused, pointing a finger at Rose.

"Listen to yourself, you sound like the insecure jealous girlfriend which last time I checked you werent! He was my mentor and friend, hes been gone for two years, excuse me for wanting to catch up with a friend, and besides I have a _boyfriend_!" Rose growled, emphasis on the last word as she slapped Tashas hand away then stormed around her and back into the house.

My eyes widened in realisation to what she had just admitted... She has a boyfriend? Shes with someone else?

It was like my heart broke all over again, I had never even thought that as a possibility... how stupid I was to think that I could come waltzing back into her life and act like nothing ever happened... Of course she has moved on, of course she found someone else... Someone who makes her happy, who can give her everything that I couldnt... I mentally kicked myself as I wondered who it was...

Tasha stood there with an angry yet confused look on her face, like she hadnt even considered that possibility either.

I didnt say a word to Tasha as I stood up and walked past her, to say I was mad at her for the way she had just acted was an understatement, she completely went above and beyond this time.

"Dimka, Im sorry, I shouldnt have done that." She spoke just as I walked through the doorway to the living room, I paused without turning around. I had to take a couple of deep calming breaths before I turned back to her. She was still my charge afterall...  
"Whatever you say Tasha, Im going back to the room." I stated as politely as I could manage, before turning around and leaving as quickly as I could, nodding and giving my thanks as I passed Christian and Lissa who seemed to be acting like they hadnt heard a thing. I didnt see Rose as I left so I wasnt too sure where she had gone to... probably to be comforted by her _boyfriend, _whoever that was.

I couldnt take the emotions boiling around inside me, If I went back to our room now there was a high possibility that I would trash it, especially if Tasha came back before I was ready to see her again. So I headed straight to the gym, the one place where I could let all my frustration and anger tear out of me without looking like Im purposely destroying property.

Thankfully there was no one else in the gym at this time of night so I threw off my shirt and headed straight over to the punching bag. Im not sure how long I actually spent there, but by the time my head cleared and I felt a hint of my anger disipating the bag was covered in holes, the insides spilling onto the floor and my hands were raw and bleeding. I hadnt even thought to wrap my hands up before going at it. I cursed at myself in Russian for that stupid move, my hands were starting to really sting now, adding to the pain of my still sore muscles.

I had almost finished cleaning up the mess Id made when I heard the doors swing open and then close again, I didnt bother looking up since I presumed it was just another guardian from court. But I thought it odd when I didnt hear any other sounds so I lifted my head towards the door, freezing in my crouched position with the brush and shovel in my hands.

Rose stood at the door, one hand still pressed on the metal as she was turned to me, her mouth open slightly as her eyes wandered over my face and down my topless chest. I guess I must still have the same affect on her as she does on me... well my body does anyway...

How is it that we keep running into each other like this? For the second time in one day... its like we were drawn to one another, though that could just be my hopes thinking that... I feel it in my heart and mind that we are meant to be together, its just our society, our way of life and my stupid mistake... and shes got a boyfriend now, who she probably loves...

"Sorry, Ill be out of here in a moment..." I mumbled turning back to finish cleaning up.

"No its fine, I was only going to use the-" She paused midsentence, as I turned to look at her to see what had caused it she was suddenly beside me, "Your hands! What have you done? Come on, Ill get the first aid kit." She said pulling me up by the shoulder. I didnt argue, they did hurt afterall and I would have had to wait until I got back to the room to sort it out.

She led me into the supply room, pointing for me to sit in the chair against the wall while she reached onto the shelf and pulled down the first aid kit.

As she pulled her seat closer to mine and sat down, taking both my hands in hers and examining my knuckles I couldnt help but smile, it reminded me of the time I had found her the same way and we were in this very same predicament, only this time reversed. It was the first time I had ever broken my own self control with her and admitted to myself that there was more to my feelings than just that mentor-student relationship, I remembered it perfectly...

**_*flashback*_**

_"I know your character. I know you're going to be a great guardian." I said confidently. I knew without a doubt that it was true, Id seen it in the way she cared for Lissa, and most other moroi._

_"I'm glad someone does. Everyone else thinks I'm totally irresponsible." She had responded, looking down at the floor._

_"With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself…" I shook my head. "No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. You'll do what you have to do to succeed."_

_She seemed to think about that for a moment, her eyebrows knotting down as she frowned. "I don't know if I can do everything I have to do."  
_

_I raised one eyebrow in confusion._

_"I don't want to cut my hair," She explained._

_I was puzzled, she thought it was compulsary? "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required." I replied._

_"All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos."_

_My mind was suddenly filled with images of this amazingly beautiful girl with short, cropped hair like other female guardians, I honestly didnt like it, I couldnt stand the thought of it. I released her hands and leaned forward. Slowly reaching out and holding a lock of her shiny, soft, dark hair, twisting it around one finger thoughtfully. She froze, and for a moment her breathing stopped. I let her hair go, slightly surprised—and embarrassed—at what I'd just done._

_"Don't cut it," I said gruffly when I eventually found my voice again._

_She finally remembered how to breathe, "But no one'll see my tattoos if I don't."_

_I couldnt help it, as I moved toward the doorway I let a small smile play over my lips before simply replying, "Wear it up."_

**_*End Flashback*_**

I watched her face, a smile dancing over her lips as she wrapped one hand up in a bandage. "This seems familiar doesnt it?" She said, keeping her eyes on what she was doing.

I didnt say anything, just nodded my head softly.

"Looks like you're the one losing control now, Comrade." She chuckled refering to the fact that I was the one that injured myself rather than her, as she moved over to start on my other hand.

"Im glad you listened to me back then." I said before I even realised the words were falling from my lips.

She paused in her wrapping, finally looking up at me. I could see emotions flicker through her eyes so fast I didnt have time to figure out exactly what they meant before she laughed lightly, "I doubt Id suit short hair anyway."

"You'd suit anything Roza, you're so-" I had to cut myself off, pursing my lips together to stop the rest of the sentence coming out. I knew I may have crossed a line when her hand tightened around mine, besides she had a boyfriend and I wasnt the sort of man to go around stealing women from other men. It wasnt right no matter who it was.  
She finished doing my hand up in silence, standing up to put the kit back up on the shelf when she was finished. I stood up as well, trying to shake off the awkwardness of this situation, the feeling of being alone in a small room with just her, being so close and yet not being able to hold her in my arms like my heart screamed at me to do was complete torture.

I moved towards the door, opening it but pausing for a second, "Thankyou Roza." I smiled genuinely at her.

She looked torn as she stood against the bench watching me, like she wanted to say something important but didnt know whether she should or not. "Dimitri, wait. I need to tell you something before you hear it somewhere else..." She paused to take a breath, "Its Adrian...Im dating Adrian." She practically whispered, looking like it was something she really didnt want to admit.

And in truth, it was something I wish she hadnt told me. I wasnt prepared for the onslaught of emotions that tore up through my heart, the anger that he has what I want, the sadness that she is even with him, and then the anger at myself. I could barely handle knowing my Roza is with someone else... but Adrian? Hes not good for her, hes an alcoholic, smoking, arrogant playboy royal! She shouldnt be with a guy like him. She deserves so much better!

I didnt know what to do, I refused to speak for fear of what would come out of my mouth but I couldnt stand here and be civil while these feelings raged a war inside me. I had to get out of here, I had to go before I snapped completely.

Without even looking back at her I tore out of the door and stormed my way across the gym, I heard her voice calling out to me but I refused to stop. Slamming through the doors, I ran as fast as I could. Through my rage, the controlled part of my brain told me to atleast run the perimeter of court, if I was going to run in a rage then I might as well be useful while I do, and theres no way I can be around anyone right now... except maybe a strigoi... It would give me an excuse to beat the shit out of someone without feeling guilty afterwards.

* * *

I was out of luck, well.. no, it was a good thing that there were no strigoi around. I had run the entire edge of court atleast 5 times before my body started feeling tired. I had finally managed to calm down and think reasonably.

Roza was dating Adrian... She obviously must feel something for him if shes willing to overlook his drunkenness and his womanizing ways...And not to mention I have no right to be angry or jealous, I left her. She deserves to be happy, she deserves to have a family... one of the things I would never have been able to do.

I guess if shes moved on... then I should too... shouldnt I?...

I tried to imagine being happy, being with someone who I could love and cherish and have a family with... only every time I tried to... I could only imagine it with her. She was always beside me, no one else was ever in her place. If I imagined kids, they would always have her flowing dark brown locks and her deep brown eyes... she was always the one smiling at our child with me... my Milaya...my Roza...

But I had to let her go, I had to force myself to move one, like she had been forced to...I had to move on... somehow.

* * *

I finally dragged myself back to the apartment I was staying at with Tasha while we were here. Unlocking the door and walking in, I plonked myself straight down on the couch and let out a lengthy sigh. I must have been louder than I thought because a few minutes later Tasha walked out of her room slowly, her hair messy and her eyes slightly puffy as though she had been crying.

"Dimka... Im sorry." She whispered, looking as though she was on the verge of tears.

I couldnt help but feel sorry for her, even after the way she acted I couldnt bring myself to be mad. I patted the seat beside me where she immediately, and gracefully sat down, folding her legs underneath her.

"Its ok, dont worry about it." I said, a small friendly smile on my lips as I looked at her. Her raven black hair sat straight, stopping around her shoulders, her deep sparkling blue eyes still shining with fresh tears, she smiled a still sad smile, the scars on her cheek deepening slightly, but never taking away from the subtle beauty that no one could dispute she was.

Shes been my friend since I was 11, meeting her at Saint Basils, only she was older than me, quite often sticking up for me and helping me out. I had never thought of her as anything except one of my dearest, oldest friends...

Could she be the one I could move on with? Ive lived with her for two years, guarding her with my life... but I spent that whole time thinking about Roza, about where I really wanted to be... I never gave her a second thought even after all the times she hinted at wanting more...

I opened my arms and pulled Tasha into a hug, resting my head ontop of hers and her arms circled around my back.

She was beautiful and strong, she was friendly and helpful... Could I move on and be with her...

I honestly didnt know... But maybe it was time to try?

* * *

**Dont shoot me, It has to be done! :)  
You dont know what you've lost untill its gone afterall...**


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning, the sun was still up and shining in through my window. I groaned lightly, rolling over to check the time.  
It was only 5, late by my usual standards but I was just so tired.

Id been up most of the night thinking about my decision, trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do. I had to let Rose go, to let her be happy with someone who could give her a future, and so I had to get on with my own life.  
I hadnt said anything to Tasha about my decision, I figure I will give it a couple of days, I dont want to make anything really official until I was one hundred percent sure about my choice... about whether I could actually do it...

I got up and showered and changed, walking out into the living room to find Tasha already up and sitting on the couch. She looked a lot better than she had last night, no sign of tears or being upset at all on her cheery face.

"Morning Tasha." I smiled as I pulled on my duster.

"Morning Dimka, Where are you off too this early?" She asked, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"I figured you and I could go and get breakfast down at the cafe down the street."

I almost laughed at the way her face lit up, it was like a child at christmas. I had never really asked her to go anywhere with me, it had always been me following as her guardian, always being professional and keeping my distance.

"Sure, Ill just grab my wallet." She said practically leaping off the couch and racing to her room where she returned not even a minute later and we walked out of the house side by side all the way down to the cafe.

We both ordered coffee and some food, and she looked shocked when I told her it was my treat.

We sat at one of the tables outside in the light from the setting sun, it was actually a really romantic setting...if only I wasnt constantly wishing I was sitting here with...stop Dimitri, just stop... you have to let her go...

We talked and laughed for a while as we ate, at one point her hand rested against mine, but I didnt pull away like I normally would. The touch was plesant, it was nothing like the tingle that would rush through me when Roza touched me... but it was still nice.

"So what have you got planned for today?" I asked, faining curiousity.

"Well, Im supposed to be meeting the queen to go over the training trials that we have been doing in Russia, she wants a full progress update seeing as how we are here anyway, so it sounds like Ill be stuck in her office for most of the day." She replied, drinking back the last of her coffee.

"That doesnt sound fun at all." I replied sarcastically. She laughed at my lame comment before I carried on, "well...Shall we go to that asian Thai restaurant on the other side of court for dinner tonight then? Just me and you?" I asked, placing my hands together infront of me on the table. I kept eye contact with her, watching as her eyes slightly widened, then her eyebrows knotted together like she was confused, maybe she hadnt understood what I had asked?

"You... you mean like a date?" She asked hesitantly.

I nodded my head slowly, "Yeah... a date." I responded as casually as I could.

I saw the pure excitement and joy on her face just before she practically squealed, "Yes, of course Dimka, Id love to!"

"Great, Hows 8? Ill give you some space at the apartment so you can get ready and then Ill swing around and get you." I smiled at her, hoping she couldnt tell how forced it was...

I still wasnt completely sure of this, and I knew if I got her hopes up too much and then decided I couldnt be with her that she would be devastated, but I had to try... She obviously hadnt noticed my internal battle though because she glanced at her watch and then stood up exclaiming that she was going to be late if she didnt hurry up and go get ready.

I just nodded in response, She kissed my cheek before turning and running back towards the apartment. I touched the spot on my cheek where her lips had met my skin, the feeling wasnt anything special... like a kiss between friends... only somehow I dont think it was like that for her...  
I started feeling guilty at how I was practically using her for my own purposes, but if I could really get over Rose then it wouldnt technically be using her would it?

As if my thoughts had conjured her up Rose came walking down the street, hands tucked into the pocket of her jeans. I could see the headphones in her ears and the way her lips were moving as though she were singing along to her music. She hadnt noticed me as she walked closer, I was about to get up and walk over to her to say Hi when she stopped, looking over at the otherside of the court yard with a smile on her face. My eyes wandered over to where she was looking and I almost growled when I saw Adrian waving at her and sauntering across the path to her.

He swept her up and spun her around once before placing her back on her feet and kissing her forhead, God how I wished that was me doing that to her, making her look so happy and content.  
They carried on walking towards me, hand in hand untill Roses eyes suddenly locked with mine. It was like I was struck by lightening, that one look had my heart beating faster and my palms sweating. I feel like a hormonal teenage boy, this is rediculous...

She bit her bottom lip, and in the same second took her hand out of Adrians as though she had been caught doing something she shouldnt have. He looked at her in confusion until he followed her line of sight and saw me. I looked away, I didnt want to be caught staring at another mans girlfriend nor did I want to see the look of anger on his face that would no doubt be directed at me.

I looked down, drinking the last of my coffee as quickly as I could before I stood up and walked the other way, taking barely a second to glance at where they had been, the footpath was now empty as though they had just vanished.

* * *

I spent most of the day working out in the gym, and even offered my services to Head Guardian Hanz, he only put me on border patrols but I would take anything to keep my mind occupied.  
Before I knew it I was walking down the corridor to our apartment in a pair of black jeans and a white dress shirt. I stopped outside our door and knocked, I figure if this is going to work then I might as well try to make it seem like a real date.

Tasha opened the door, a wide smile on her face. She wore a tight, deep blue dress that stopped halfway down her thighs. I couldnt help but think it would look better on...no, stop. Just stop Dimitri.

"You look lovely this evening Tasha, shall we?" I asked, turning to my side and holding out my elbow for her to take.

She grinned, "we shall" And laced her arm through mine as she closed the door.

We strolled down the main street like that, down to the Thai restaurant that I had booked a table at. It wasnt the fanciest place in town but I knew they did really good food.

We ordered our food as soon as we were seated, I took a moment to glance around the restaurant taking in the fancy red, black and gold decor around the room, each table set with three candles in the middle, it was a very, very nice place to eat. Tasha pulled my attention back to her, asking me about my day and then telling me about hers.

It was only 10 minutes later that the waiter bought our meals back to us, smiling as she set them down. "Is there anything else you need?" She asked, turning specifically to me.

I just shook my head, giving her a polite smile in return. Tasha just scowled at the women, giving her an evil glare as she turned and left the table.  
Was she jealous? I almost blanched at the thought that Tasha was THAT into me that she would be jealous of other women even speaking to me... I certainly did not return that type of feeling...

We were halfway through our meal when I felt it, a tingle ran through me and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise as though someone was touching my neck with a feather light touch. I turned to look behind me and almost fell off my chair.

It was the single most beautiful sight I had ever seen, almost like something from a movie... Roza had just barely walked through the door, her hair was down in ringlets over her shoulders. She wore a deep red full length dress that swept along the floor as she walked, I recognised the gold and diamond heart necklace she wore around her neck, It was two hearts that wound around each other, half of each one was lined in a row of diamonds... I bought it for her... I didnt even realise she had kept it... why was she still wearing it?

Her wide brown eyes did a sweep of the room, I was seated behind a large decorative palm bush so I was hidden from her view but I could still see her. She smiled at the waiter as he walked over to her, she gave a name and he led her to the other side of the room. I couldnt help but stare after her, she moved like a goddess.

I heard someone clear their throat, turning back to Tasha who had quite obviously caught what I was looking at. She raised one eyebrow at me and folded her arms on the table.  
"They are a cute couple arent they?" She asked,

"What? Who?"

"Adrian and Rose." She said, tilting her head in the direction Rose had gone, I glanced over to see her sitting down at the same table where Adrian was waiting, he stood to meet her, kissing her cheek before sitting down opposite her.

I wanted to go over there and throw him out the window they were sitting by, how dare he have a romantic meal with the women I am supposed to be with... how dare he...

I had to stop myself, if I kept thinking things like that then my self control would snap.  
With Rose involved...anything could happen... But I was here with Tasha, I was moving on.

I turned back to her putting a smile on my face, I nodded, "Yes, they are. Im glad she found someone to take care of her." I forced myself to say out loud, It was supposed to sound sincere but to my own ears it sounded fake and completely forced.  
I wasnt sure if Tasha noticed this but she finally unfolded her arms and started to finish her meal. I however had suddenly lost my appetite. So instead I settled for downing the last of the wine that had been set on our table.

If I had to sit here and watch her be happy with someone else then I would do it atleast half drunk.

What felt like an eternity later, we finally finished our meals. I refused desert although it looked like that upset Tasha slightly, I just wasnt in the mood to sit here any longer. I asked the waiter for the check and then stood up to leave. Tasha excused herself to go to the bathroom quickly so I stood by the front door, still trying to keep out of sight of _them, _and waited for her.

**Tashas Point of View**

Good God, hes been staring at her all night, He thinks hes being subtle about it but I can tell, his eyes constantly wander in their direction. Hes supposed to be here with me, on a date with me not sulking after that tramp.

He even cut our date short, refusing to have desert. I know he just wants to get away from them, he cant stand to see her with someone else. It infuriates me, Im so much better for him, I can give him things that that whore cant. Why cant he see that?

Before we leave I excused my self to go to the bathroom, the little bit of wine that I managed to get before he practically chugged the bottle was already through my system.

As I came out of the stall I was using I saw her standing infront of the mirror, her hands clasping the basin and she was staring intently at her own reflection. God, vain much?  
She barely glanced at me as I moved beside her and started washing my hands. She did a double take though when she realised it was me.

"Tasha." She said in way of greeting.

"Oh Rose, I almost didnt recognise you. How are you?" I asked, not that I really care. Two bit, wannabe man-stealer.

"Im fine, what are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes wandering down to look at my ensamble. Yes I know, Im hot.

"Im here on a _Date, _with Dimka." I replied, I couldnt help the triumphant grin that was on my face as I told her.

"You guys are dating now? since when?" She asked curiousity obvious in her tone, both her eyebrows were raised.

"Oh he asked me out this morning, We just finished our meal, now we are heading back to our apartment... for desert." I said the last bit as seductively as I could, trying to get my point across, theres no way me and Dimitri would actually be eating if I can help it... well, not food anyway.

Her eyes widened slightly, then she pursed her lips before the fakest smile I have ever seen appeared on her face. "Good for you. Well see ya." She said practically storming out of the bathroom. I couldnt help but smirk triumphantly, she was such the jealous ex. Not that I should even call her that, they never would have lasted anyway, hes too good for her.

And now, hes all mine.

**Dimitris Point of view**

I heard the subtle bang of the bathroom doors closing and looked up, expecting to see Tasha walking this way. Instead I saw Rose practically stomping her way out. She froze suddenly as her eyes locked on mine, I saw a look of sadness and hurt on her face, I couldnt understand why... then Tasha came out behind her, walking swiftly past her. I saw Rose glance at her then back at me, the hurt look being replaced by.. disgust and anger?...

What the hell happened in there for her to look at me that way?

I couldnt help raising one eyebrow as Tasha approached me, wrapping one arm around mine as she pulled me around and through the front doors. I glanced back once more to see that Rose had left the spot she was in, an empty feeling hit my chest.  
Why did she look so mad at me? Was she... was she jealous? Was she hurt that I was with Tasha?

I shook that thought out of my head instantly, she was with Adrian, she was happy. Why would she be jealous of me.


	6. Chapter 6

"Finally... home at last." Tasha sighed dramatically as she dropped onto the couch, throwing her wallet onto the coffee table.

I shook my head, smiling slightly. "Come on, a date with me isnt that bad is it?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

She actually looked horrified when she realised how I could have taken that comment. She shook her head, "Thats not what I meant and you know it Dimka. You know I _love_ spending time with _you_." She laughed, I could hear the obvious meaning behind her words, the way she put emphasis on the love and you.

"It was a good night." I replied, taking my duster off and putting it on the chair.

"It doesnt have to end yet you know?"

I looked up, surprised at the change in her tone... she was kneeling on all fours on the couch, leaning towards me slightly. She had a wicked grin on her face, I knew exactly what she was thinking... it was the complete opposite to what I was thinking.

I didnt know what to do, or how to respond. I didnt want to hurt her feelings, I like Tasha, Only not enough at the moment to get into _that_ sort of situation with her... I just couldnt do it, I know I couldnt. Theres no way I would be able to go through with it, I couldnt be intimate with someone that I didnt love...

"Tasha..." I replied hesitantly, trying to look everywhere but at her.

I heard her get off the couch and walk over to where I was now sitting on an arm chair, on the other side of the room. She put both hands on my shoulders and moved so that she was sitting... Or rather straddling my lap, her knees on either side of me.

"Come on Dimka, What better way to end our date. We've known each other for so long now, I know you have feelings for me, I can see it... and well... you know how I feel." She practically purred, wrapping her arms around my kneck and joining her hands together.

There was a war going on in my mind, part of me, the typical man side, was saying 'do it, do it, you said you were going to move on... what better way than to sleep with her, your feelings for her will grow with time... do it.' and then there was the other part of me, screaming and yelling 'what about Rose! what about Rose, you love her, you need her, fight for her, You said you would fight for her.'

It was like something in that moment clicked in my brain, as soon as I heard my heart scream to fight I knew I had to. Last time I just gave up, I threw in the towel and turned my world upside down, this time I had to fight, I had to atleast try.

I couldnt do this with Tasha, not now... Not ever.

I placed my hands on either side of Tashas hips and gently pried her off me, I stood up so that she was now sitting and I was facing her.  
"Tasha... I cant... Im sorry." I said gently, watching as her face dropped so that she looked incredibly hurt, but that only lasted a second. Being replaced almost immediately by an angry scowl.

"Its her isnt it? You're so stuck on that slut that you cant even see what a great thing you and I could have, Dimka I can give you so much more, a family, kids, a life." She said.

"Rose is not a slut. And I dont care for children if I cant have them with her, shes the only one I have ever wanted Tasha, Im sorry but I have to atleast try to get her back, Ive been in hell since I let her go two years ago, I didnt fight for her then but I sure as hell am going to fight for her now." I replied, my voice sounded heated and passionate, I havent spoken like that in a long time.

It was because I was finally listening to my heart, in the course of a day I had completely changed my mind, but I knew deep down I had to do it, I had to try for her, I had to get my Roza back... If she will have me.

"I cant believe it. You're really choosing her over me, and a family... Dimka she has a boyfriend, shes with Adrian, he can give to her exactly what I can give to you, dont you think shes going to want a family some day, thats something you cant give her. Why cant you see that its best for you to just leave her be. let her be with him... So you can be with me" Tasha was practically pleading with me now, she was gripping my arm tightly.

"Tasha I cant be with you, You cant force someone to feel something they just dont." I said, I knew it would probably hurt her but I needed to say it, I needed her to see that I cant truely be with her... I would never truely be able to be with anyone else.

I have never seen Tasha look so broken as the words tumbled out of my mouth, she looked so hurt and destroyed and yet she looked terrifyingly angry within the second.

"Fine. Get out Dimka, get out and dont come back. I dont want to see you, you are no longer my guardian!" she was practically screaming at me now, her hands were balled into tight fists and the glare she was giving me was murderous. I took a step towards her,

"Tasha please, you have to understand... Im sorry if this is hurting you-" I started to apologise, I really didnt want to lose her friendship after this many years but I had to stop when she raised her fist, it had burst into flame and she was getting ready to pull it back and swing at me.

I moved backwards as quickly as I could, I didnt need to get burned trying to calm her down, maybe if I leave she will calm on her own... and hopefully not burn the apartment down while shes at it. I grabbed my duster and my wallet off the chair and walked as fast as I could to the door, I could feel her angry gaze on me the whole time.

As I opened the door and took a step outside I turned to look at her, "Tasha Im sorry-"

"Get out!" She screamed at the same second she threw a small orange fire ball at me, I quickly yanked the door closed, hearing the thud and sizzle as it hit the wooden door. I let out a breath as I slowly started walking away.

That definitely could have gone better.

I knew I needed to find somewhere else to stay since I obviously wouldnt be welcome back at that apartment any time soon, so I headed straight for the guardian head quarters.

Luckily Guardian Hanz was in the main office so I knocked on the door.

"Ah Guardian Belikov, what can I do for you?" he asked, looking up from his computer screen.

"I uh... I need a room."I said.

"oh? I thought you were staying with Lady Ozera?"

I shook my head, "Not anymore." I really didnt want to go into detail, especially not about my personal life.

Thankfully he didnt question me on it further. Just typed away on his computer before handing me a room key.

"thank you Hanz, and feel free to call on me if you need an extra guardian while Im here." I responded as I stood up and walked out again, heading straight over to the guardian housing building.

I decided to take the stairs since my room was only on the second floor,taking them two at a time.

I could hear someone thumping down the stairs heading my way, but I assumed that they would be watching where they were going... Boy was I wrong.

We rounded the corner at the same time, both slamming into eachother.

"Hey watch it!" she yelled as she landed backwards on the stairs at the same time I was pushed back and landed with a thud against the wall.

"Excuse me?" I replied, rubbing my back and looking at her with a slightly amused expression. "I believe youre the one who ran into me."

"I...uh..." Rose looked up at me like she only just realised who she ran into, a subtle, but noticeable blush crept over her face. I almost couldnt believe it because for a moment she was speechless... Rose was never speechless...

"Youre the badass, you should have used your super speed to get out of my way or something."

Ahh there it is. I smiled as the Roza that I knew came back, her sarcastic attitude shining through again. I just shook my head as I looked down at her.

"Are you just going to stand there like an idiot or are you going to help me up?" she asked, lifting one hand up to me so I could help her up.

I guess I dont really know my own strength, I meant to only get her to her feet, but instead she ended up falling straight into me, Crashing into my chest. I dont know what came over me but my hands wrapped around her waist, helping her keep balance but the touch of her made that old familiar tingle run through my entire body, from our close contact I could make out the sweet vanilla scent that was purely my Roza. For a moment I forgot that she wasnt mine anymore, and before I could stop myself I whispered in Russian against her hair, "my sweet Roza."

I could feel how relaxed she was in my arms, she hadnt pulled away as fast as I would have expected but when she did, I felt the loss of her contact immediately, a cold breeze seemed to come out of no where and sweep around my entire body making me shiver slightly. Oh the things this women did to me.

She was looking at me with an odd expression on her face now as she stood an arms length in front of me. It was like a mix between confusion, fear, hurt... and was that love? I couldnt be sure wether it was really written in her eyes or if it was just me wanting it to be there.

"sorry...Dimitri... I have to...go..." she seemed to speak so hesitantly, almost like she was hiding something. It may have been nothing, but it was enough to get my curiousity up.

"In a hurry to be somewhere?" I asked, folding my arms slightly across my chest.

"I uh... I have to go and...pick someone up." She wouldnt look me in the eye as she spoke, her eyes flicking from one wall to the floor and back again.

"Oh yeah?" I asked hoping for a little more information than that, but I got the distinct impression that she wouldnt tell me anything more seeing as how she just stared back at me. Though I was intrigued to know who this person was, we are at court afterall, where its safe for moroi to go where they like and not need a guardian trailing them, but I decided to let it go for now, Ive got enough on my plate trying to deal with Tasha. "Alright Roza ... goodnight." I said, trying to smile but from the look on her face I knew she could tell it was forced.

"Goodnight Comrade." She smiled back before turning and pushing out through the doors.

I sighed and continued walking to my room, once I was in there I dropped my duster and shoes on the floor and flopped down on the bed. It was time to start planning operation, "win back my Roza."

I had to convince her that I wanted to stay, and to be with her... And that she should be with me, so I would do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes...


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up early the next morning, and I was immediately out of bed and heading down to the gym to work out. I had been plagued all night by thoughts of Rose, and the drama with Tasha and the fact that right now I was probably jobless seeing as how Tasha had practically thrown me out.

I walked into the gym, thankfully nobody was up yet so I was alone, able to find an outlet for all of my pent up frustration. To everyone else I was always controlled and stoic, but when left alone I was a mess... Especially over the last two years.

Though at the moment if felt almost as though the universe was against me because after an hour of running on the treadmill I decided to go and lift some weights, and after two reps she walked in.

I heard her laugh as she entered the gym, the sound was so sweet I hadnt realised how much I had missed that sound, it made my chest tighten almost painfully. I was around the corner in the weights room now so she probably didnt even realise I was here as she walked around in the main area.

"Mama will you show me how to punch someone today?" A small feminine voice asked. I sat bolt upright... had I heard that right? I was so sure it was Rose out there, her laugh was unmistakeable. I couldnt hear any other footsteps...

"Sure thing Baby, come over here."

Yes its definitely Rose. I had to see this for my own eyes, I couldnt just jump to conclusions...  
I moved from the bench as quietly as I possibly could and crept over to the door of the weights room. Peeking around the side of it and into the main room.

I swear my heart stopped as I watched Rose, kneeling beside a punching bag holding onto it with both her hands as she smiled widely down at a little girl.

The child looked to be around 2 years old, with long silky smooth light brown hair that reached down to her waist, and her skin was a lightly tanned shade of brown. I could only see the back of her as I watched as she balled her hands into little fists and aimed at the bag, throwing little punch after punch. Her soft grunts of effort were audible even to me on the other side of the room.

"Keep your elbow in line with your arm when you pull it back, that way when you hit, you hit with all the power in your arm." Rose instructed the small girl, shifting her elbow so that her next punch was correctly lined. I moved back away from the door and leaned my weight against the wall, staring up at the ceiling.

"Good job baby, that was perfect." Roses voice, full of pride and joy floated in to the room.

I squeezed my eyes shut, it was true. I couldnt deny what I was seeing, she had a child, Rose had a baby girl... she really had moved on... I had to hold down the pain in my chest as it threatened to choke me.

Wait... if that was her child and she was almost 2 years old, then that means she moved on right when I left... maybe even before that...

My eyes flew open, was I blind when we were together? Was she cheating on me? Could she have been seeing someone else while I was still here? I had to know, I needed to find out from her, if she had been with someone else while I was still here then everything she ever told me was a lie... then she had never loved me...

I pushed off from the wall about to march into the next room and demand answers from her when I heard the main doors push open and foot steps entering the gym. I pulled open the door to exit the weights room at the same moment that Rose and the child turned towards the new comer.

"Uncle Adrian!" The young girl cried, a small giggle escaping her lips as she threw herself at Adrian Ivashkov. He caught her in his arms and twirled her around once before stopping to face Rose. "I learnt how to beat you up!" The little girl laughed.

"Oh Really? Mummy shouldnt be showing you things like that." He accused playfully turning his emerald green eyes on Rose.

She just shrugged, "Shes going to be as badass as me, especially with her parentage..." She trailed off hesitantly, as though she hadnt meant to say that.

I figured I should probably make myself known now, seeing as how I was basically standing right in the room but neither had noticed me. So I cleared my throat loudly and moved my way purposefully over to the locker rooms, nodding my greeting to the both of them as I passed.

Rose had frozen on the spot and was staring at me with wide eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. My eyes locked with hers for a moment and I saw a look of guilt flash through them, like she had been caught out with something.

I tore my eyes away from her, my mind was telling me to be angry, believing that she had been with someone else because that little girl, that cute little innocent girl was definitely Rozas daughter. I felt totally and completely betrayed, how could she?

"I'll... I'll take Faith and get her ready for preschool ok." I heard Adrians voice, speaking low to Rose as though he didnt want me to hear but of course I was close enough with my dhampir hearing to hear it all.

"What am I going to do." I heard a small, strained whisper. I dont think I was meant to hear it.

"Tell him. Rose you cant hide her forever, he should know the truth before he jumps to conclusions that arent true." Adrian whispered right as I walked through the changing room doors effectively blocking out any more of their conversation.

I stalked straight to my locker ripping it open with enough force that it flung back and clanged noisily against the locker beside it. I was breathing heavily, the anger inside me ready to burst free, but I couldnt. Not here, not with them right outside. I couldnt believe it, Rose, My Roza has a daughter... She had never mentioned anything about wanting children when we were together... Infact I remember her saying she didnt want them because it would impact on her ability to guard Lissa... so what changed her mind?

"Dimitri?"

I tensed, every single muscle in my body seized up as I heard her soft, voice murmur from the doorway. Half of my being wanted to run to her and hold her as close as possible, the other half wanted to yell and shout and throw things. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply before turning to look at her.

She stood in the doorway, looking completely unsure of what she was doing, she was biting her bottom lip. Even through my anger at her I couldnt help but be slightly mesmerised by her beauty. She was like a goddess even when she was in her messy work out clothes.

"Yes Rose?" I asked, my voice sounding obviously strained but I couldnt help it.

"I think I need to explain..." She started to speak, her eyes watching my expression with wariness.

I couldnt help reacting, everything about this women made me lose any sort of control I had, "Explain what? That you have obviously moved on.. and quite a while ago by the looks of it-"

She cut me off, "I have not Dimitri. Shut up and listen to me for a minute will you."

I shut up, the abrupt burst of anger was so sudden that it reminded me of the old Rose, the 'take no shit' Rose from the academy.

"Yes Faith is my daughter, no she is not Adrians, I have only ever slept with one person. I am faithful, I do not sleep around, no matter what you may think." She paused for a moment.

I was about to retort with a comment about how that was obviously untrue when it hit me, her words sinking in to my head. She has only ever slept with one person... she slept with me... and the last time was around 2 years ago... which means either shes lying or...

She read the look on my face, "Yes Dimitri. Believe it or not but You have a daughter. As impossible as it seems its the truth. Faith was as much a surprise to me as she is to you, I couldnt believe it at first, but its been proven by DNA."

I stood there staring at her, my mouth hanging open and my eyes wide, scrutinizing ever inch of her face for any hint of a lie.  
There was none, she was being completely honest with me, I could tell just like I could when she was lying back at the academy. She was telling me the truth... an impossible truth... and yet I had seen her... I had just seen the impossible...

"But... but how?" Was all I managed to say

"A quirk in my DNA." She shrugged, like it was nothing, "Lissa thinks that when she bought me back she healed everything about my body, making me slightly more moroi than human... something like that anyway."

I didnt say anything, I couldnt form any coherent sentence in my mind. I just continued to stare at her.

"Look. This doesnt change anything, I know how you are about your duty and about how _they come first_, so I dont expect anything from you, you can leave when your charge does. Faith knows her father is a guardian and hes out there doing his duty. She doesnt know its you, and Im fine with that, untill she asks me specifically who her father is I wont tell her. I dont expect you to become her father, you dont have to be around her, you dont even have to have anything to do with her, ever, If thats what you choose. Im just telling you because I think you deserve to know, and everyone else that knows thinks you do too. Now what you do with this information is entirely up to you. Just know that if you stay and you get to know her, If you ever, ever hurt her the way you hurt me, I will personally hunt you down and make you pay." her eyes narrowed as she protected her daughter and then she turned and walked out of the room letting the door swing shut behind her.

I continued staring after her, this was so much to process... only one thing kept swirling around in the front of my mind though, only one coherent thought...

I had a daughter... Roza and I had a daughter...


	8. Chapter 8

"Is it true?" I demanded, palms flat as I leaned foreward on the table and stared down at them.

I had stormed out of the gym after a long while of pulling my thoughts together, I had come to the conclusion that I needed proof, I needed hard proof that the little girl was mine. I believed Roza when she told me, but I still needed something more... she had said they had DNA evidence that she was mine, I wanted to see it.  
So I had stalked across court aiming for the med clinic but along the way I caught sight of Lissa and Christian sitting outside one of the small busy cafes.

They both looked at me like I was crazy, confusion written all over their faces. So Rose must not have spoken to them yet...

"Is what true?" Lissa asked turning her body towards me and putting down the cup of coffee she had been sipping on.

"Is Faith my daughter?"

She literally spat out the coffee that was in her mouth, her jade green eyes going wide as her hand tried to discreetly wipe away the coffee trickling down her pale white chin.

She cleared her throat softly, I caught her eyes discreetly glance quickly in Christians direction and then back at me. "What are you talking about? Where did you hear that?" She asked, I had known her long enough to call her bluff, she was trying to avoid having to answer my question.

I shook my head, running one hand over my face, "From the horses mouth, does it really matter? Now is it true." I demanded again.

"I dont think we can answer that. Not unless Rose was here." Christian answered for her, pulling my attention away from Lissa. I glared at him, his tone was sarcastic and annoyed, like I didnt deserve the answers to anything but this was important.

Lissas phone buzzed loudly from where it sat in the middle of the table, she grabbed it and read the text. She bit her bottom lip as she put her phone back down and looked at Christian. "She told him."

That one small sentence answered all of my unanswered questions. I sunk down into the chair I was standing beside, almost physically unable to stand anymore. The weight of this news was more than I could handle. I put my head in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. Lissa wouldnt lie, she would also know if Rose was lying... in this case she wasnt.

"Dimitri... Im sorry we couldnt tell you before." Lissa said quietly, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at her, I hadnt even thought about that... My daughter was almost 2 and this was the first I was hearing about her!

"Why? Why couldnt anyone tell me?!" I asked, my voice felt hoarse and sore, as though my throat was closing up.

"Rose... well she... after you left she was devastated, she wouldnt leave her room or go anywhere... for a while there I had to get a replacement guardian. Then she found out she was pregnant... at first she didnt believe it so we had her tested, when it came back positive it was like she became the old Rose... only different..." Lissas voice wavered slightly before she stopped altogether.

Christian continued for her, "She was still fiesty and sarcastic... but she was hardly the fun Rose that we all knew, it was like she was in pain all the time... not so much physically but more emotionally. Untill Faith was born... She became herself then. When we asked about Faiths father she was adament that it was you, so to prove it she had DNA tests done... shes definitely your biological child. But Rose refused to have you involved. She kept saying that since you left to do your duty that just because you have a daughter it wouldnt change that, you wouldnt or shouldnt come back just because of her. She made us promise to never mention Faith around you"

I couldnt believe it, I had ruined everything by leaving, I shouldnt have ever put my duty before my Roza... before my family. Its not right... its my own fault I havent been around for Faiths life...  
Would I have come back if I knew about her? Would I have abandoned my duty for her? I knew the answer right away, Yes. Yes I would have come back, I would have taken up a position here at court or something so that I could be with her... its what I should have done in the first place, for Roza. I was so stupid to think I was doing the right thing by anyone when I left... all I did was hurt the people I care about, hurt myself.

"Where is she? Where is Roza?" I asked standing up abruptly from my seat.

My sudden outburst seemed to shock Lissa, it took her a moment to reply. "Shes down by the falls on the other side of court."

I took off running, without even saying goodbye to them. I just needed to get to Rose, I needed to tell her how I felt, to let her know that I wanted to be around, I wanted to be part of their lives... I had to make things right, and I wanted to know my daughter.

I ran faster than I thought I ever could, jumping over the small brick garden borders and tearing around the corner of buildings until I got to the other side of court in record timing. I slowed down when I got to the familiar path that lead through the trees towards the boundary of the wards. This was where Rose and I would come when we wanted alone time outside of the apartment, it was like our own special place... well to me it was anyway.

I walked down the dirt and grass trail, ducking slightly under a few low hanging branches untill I heard the tell tale trickle and splash of the small waterfall that fed into the pond. I couldnt help but remember all the times I had walked this track with Roza, sometimes walking hand in hand and other times playfully chasing her through the trees. It felt almost like an entire life time ago that we were so happy together.

"I knew you'd find me" Her voice carried to me as I walked out of the trees and into the tiny clearing beside the pond.

She sat on the lone big boulder nestled beside the water, her bare feet dangling into the cool clear liquid. I noted how relaxed she looked, leaning back on her arms, her long hair dangling down behind her almost touching the smooth surface of the boulder. She was watching me with wary eyes, and her face looked drawn and tired.

"Roza..." I murmured loud enough for her to hear, as I walked slowly towards her.

"Dimitri, Im sorry about the way I spoke to you... It surprised me... I wasnt ready for you to find out about her..." She began speaking quietly, I guess not wanting to disturb the peace of the area.

I shook my head, taking a seat on the boulder beside her, close enough that I could smell her vanilla and floral scent but not close enough to touch. "No Roza, Im sorry. Im the one who should be sorry. I should never have put my job before you, If I had stayed then I would know her. I dont blame you for keeping her a secret, Yes I am upset about it, But I blame myself more than anything. I had the chance to be with you, to stay with you but I blew it... and Im sorry. If I could go back I would change it all, I would fight for you, I would stay with you... forever. Im only angry at myself for being so stupid." I wanted so badly to make her believe what I was saying, to know the sincere truth and honesty behind what I was telling her.

"Dimitri... Its taken you two years to come back and admit this... I dont know if I can... I mean, Adrian?..." She was quiet, almost whispering all of this to me. It dawned on me then that I had just presumed that she would leave him and come back to me, that we would go straight back to being the happy couple...scratch that, happy family that I so badly wanted... But she was still with Adrian, maybe she loved him? The thought almost tore my heart out.

"Do you love him?" I forced myself to ask, keeping my voice as calm and composed as possible.

She stared into the crystal clear water for a long while, I didnt think she was going to answer me at first.

"I dont know... I thought I did... and then you came back and it was like everything I felt for him changed back..." She looked up at me, her large deep brown eyes were glistening as she studied my face. I only hoped that she could see all the hurt and pain, regret and love that I knew was written all over me. I was never able to fully keep my guardian mask in place when she was around.

"Oh Roza...Im sorry... But I want you to know that Im back for good. I refuse to leave you and Faith ever again, Ill be here as long as you or she needs me... Even if it is just as her father." I still found it strange to admit that I had a daughter, that I was a father. It was almost surreal to think especially since I had woken up this morning believing it was impossible. Rose obviously heard the hesitation in my voice, she looked at me curiously.

"So You really believe me?" She asked

I nodded without hesitation, "I know you wouldnt lie to me about something so important, and I know you saw me talking to Lissa." I said, a small smile playing on my lips as I tapped my forehead. Rose must have been sucked into Lissas head when she was so shocked that I knew, hence the text Rose had sent her.

She smiled in return, turning back to the water again. "You know, Faith was asking about you before, after I told you about her I had to take her to playschool. She wanted to know everything about the 'strange tall man'." She almost laughed as she recounted talking to our daughter... _our daughter... _

"What did you tell her?" I asked curisouly.

She bit her bottom lip lightly, "I told her she would have to ask you herself, but that you were the one who taught me to fight... Her eyes had almost bugged out of her head, her exact response was 'But mummy youre so badass... that would mean hes SUPER badass!'" She outright laughed when she told me, and I Couldnt help but chuckle too. She definitely sounded like a mini Rose.

"So youre not angry at me?" I asked her, I wouldnt blame her if she was... this wasnt something I expected her to forgive me right away for, But her reply surprised me.

"No. Like I said the other day, I understand why you did it, I wasnt happy with your choice but I respected it. I couldnt expect you to come running back just because I was pregnant... Part of it was selfish, I mean I knew you would have come back for her, but I wanted you to come back for me, because you wanted to be with me."

She sounded so grown up, so mature, not at all like the Roza I had known. I couldnt believe how much she had changed mentally in the last two years. It saddened me to think how much my one decision had affected and changed her.

"Roza... Im so sorry." I turned to her, putting one arm around her shoulders, more to comfort myself than her.

She surprised me yet again when she shifted herself closer, so that she was almost sitting in my lap, her arms wrapping around my neck as she buried her head in my chest. "Stop apologising Comrade... just please... please promise me if you decide to stay that you wont leave again... I couldnt handle it again." She mumbled against my shirt. My arms wrapped protectively around her, like I could shield her from the past... I knew I couldnt but I knew that I could do my hardest to stop it from happening again.

"Never. Roza Im here for good, I want to be with you, and with Faith. I... I still love you." It was hard for me to say again, I didnt know how she would take my admission so soon after everything but I needed her to know it, I had been holding it in since I saw her face again... no actually, Id been holding it in since I had left 2 years ago. My feelings had never changed, they had never even relented.

I felt her body shake slightly, a small sob sounded from her. My arms tightened instinctively and I kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too." She whispered, "But is it enough..."


	9. Chapter 9

I sat impatiently at the park bench, tapping my fingers against the wood as I waited. To tell the truth I was ready to get up and run to find them after only waiting here for barely 5 minutes.

After our little conversation yesturday Roza said that I could meet Faith properly for the first time today, but she still wasnt ready for her to know who I really am. I wasnt too bothered, I would prove to Roza that I wasnt going anywhere and that I was in this for the long run.  
I couldnt wait to meet her, to get a proper look at my little girl... Even just thinking that bought a smile to my face... My daughter, my baby girl... it was insane to think that I was a father.

I heard the small squeal of laughter before I saw them, They both rounded the corner of one of the buildings opposite where I sat, on the other side of the playground. Both of them had massive smiles on their faces, Faith looked so much like Roza it was scarey. Her large soft brown eyes were like exact replicas of her mothers, her skin was a softer tan colour, she looked slightly tall for her age, and her long light brown hair hung down to her waist in soft waves with the tiniest curls at the ends.

Roza said something to her quietly as her eyes landed on me, I gave them both a friendly smile. Faiths eyes watched me with curiousity as her mother was talking in her ear, a grin widened her face before she all of a sudden took off straight towards me.

"Are you Mitri?" She asked as she came to a stop infront of me, her hands held behind her back. She looked at my curiously, making me wonder what exactly it was that Rose had said to her. I nodded my head at her, putting my hand out for her to shake.

"Dimitri Belikov, its nice to meet you little one, you must be Faith?" I asked her, lowering my head slightly so that she didnt have to look up so high.

"Thats my name" she grinned, "Its nice to meet you mitri, Why are you so tall... and why do you talk funny?"

I raised one eyebrow and looked up from her to Roza who now stood behind her, a cheeky grin on her face.

"Im tall and I talk with an accent because Im Russian." I answered her, tilting my head towards the seat opposite me for Roza to sit down. "I figured you guys would be hungry?" I asked, again raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

Rose looked away trying to hide the smile on her face where as Faith leapt up on the table beside me and stared at me with wide, pleading eyes.

"I smell pizza... Do you have pizza Mitri?" She asked, clapping her little hands together.

I laughed at the excited look on her face that the thought of food had bought, so much like Rose. I lifted my duster, that I had laid on the table and pulled out the two boxes of pizza I had hidden under it.

Faith squealed in delight, practically singing, "thankyou thankyou thankyou." as she ripped open one box and shoved a piece in her mouth.

I chuckled at her antics, glancing at Rose as she blushed slightly. "So much like you Roza.". I outright laughed as she childishly poked her tongue at me.

"shes half Hathaway what do you expect." she retorted, picking up her own piece of pizza.

I couldnt help but chuckle and shake my head. I watched Faith out of the corner of my eye as we ate, studying her appearance and slowly figuring out some of her personality.

She was stubborn and independant like Roza, proving so when Rose told her to slow down her eating but all she did was glare at her mother and poke out her tongue before shoving another piece in her mouth.

But she was also kind and polite, she offered me the last piece of hawaiian pizza which I declined, and when all of it was gone she thanked me very much for the food before scampering off to play on the playground.

"she reminds me so much of you." Rose murmured, her eyes trained on the giggling little girl as she slid down the slide.

I couldnt help but watch her too, the little girl was enchanting, almost like I was watching a little angel. I felt so protective of her already, I almost couldnt believe the way I felt. Within the two days I had known about her, and this one meeting... I loved her, shes my daughter, Im her father. I wanted that relationship, I wanted her to call me daddy but I respect Roses decision, I will wait, as hard as it will be, I will wait until she trusts me enough.

"so..." she started, I could tell she wanted to bring something up but as struggling with it.

I just raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue

"You and Tasha?" I noticed how She wouldnt look at me as she spoke.

I shook my head, turning my entire attention to her, "I couldnt do it... When I found out you were with Adrian, that you had moved on, I thought maybe I could... Only I couldnt, I cant be with someone I dont love. Id rather be alone." I tried to push everything I felt into the statement.

Her eyes studied my face, trailing over my features untill her gaze met mine, she pursed her lips, before nodding and turning back to watching Faith.

"Roza... When did you find out about Faith?" I asked, completely unsure of how my question would be recieved.

"About two months after you left, I thought I was just sick because I wasnt eating properly or excersing like I used to, but Lissa forced me to go see a doctor and they did a pregnancy test just as a precaution, of course I threw a fit about it because dhampirs arent meant to be able to do that with other dhampirs..." she trailed off in thought for a moment before she carried on, "so you can imagine my shock when it came back positive, I made them do it three times just because I couldnt believe it. Obviously everyone else thought I had been with some moroi... Most of them thought it was Adrian."

I couldnt help the soft growl and scowl on my face imagining people believing he had even touched my Roza like that.

"I didnt know what to think about it, I just carried on sulking and barely eating... Until the first time I felt her move, it was the most amazing soft flutter in the pit of my stomach, but I instantly knew it was her... It completely changed the way I looked and thought about it. I was carrying apart of you with me, I had something with me that would always be a part of you... I started really looking after myself from then." She smiled fondly as she spoke of being pregnant.

It touched me that even through the pain of me leaving she stil had something to remind her... Something that she wanted. A smile touched my lips as I imagined this breathtaking women pregnant with my child. But It was enough to wipe the smile straight from my face when I realised its something I didnt get to witness myself.

"Im sorry Roza." I dont know why but I felt the need to keep apologizing.

"Stop Comrade, Youve already apologized so stop it." she said.

"Mitri, Mitri!" I glanced back at the playground where Faith was sitting at the top of the slide, She waved at me and giggled loudly as she slid down, her feet landing on the ground as she bounced up and down excitedly then came tearing back over to us.

"Well done Milaya, that looked like fun." I spoke warmly as she clambered up and sat beside Rose.

"Milaya...Whats Milaya?" She asked.

"It means sweetheart in Russian."

"ohhhhh." She giggled, strands of her hair fell into her face as she bobbed her head side to side. She was so full of energy it was crazy. "mama can Mitri come to dinner?" She asked, staring at her mother with pleading eyes.

Rose looked from her to me, "Only if he wants to."

"Mitri say yes! Come have dinner with me and mummy! please, please, please, please, please-"

I had to cut her off otherwise Im sure she would have just kept chanting it, "Sure I will."

She squealed in delight before launching herself straight over the table and wrapping her arms around my neck.

Rose was watching me with a very curious almost surprised look on her face.

"What?" I asked.

She pursed her lips together for a momnet, "She doesnt usually take to people so fast..." She murmured, watching Faith as she let me go but sat herself down on my lap. I smiled down at her, maybe she could tell I was more to her than just a friend of her mothers?

She was so cute I still couldnt wrap my mind around the fact that she was half me. It set my heart soaring as I felt the warmth spread through me thinking about it, I could have a family, I already have a family... I just have to get Roza to trust me again.

**Tashas POV**

I couldnt believe I had thrown him out... It was just a heat of the moment thing, I didnt actually think he still felt that way about Her. I thought he was just hurt that she was with another man, not that he still wanted her. I truely thought he felt something for me, atleast half of what I felt for him anyway.

I had to get him back, I had to have him with me. I know hes been doing jobs for Hanz, Im not sure if hes been officially reassigned though, I know I told him he was no longer my guardian but I refuse to let him go.

I was halfway to Hanz office when I saw them, sitting there at the park laughing and chatting, that child sitting on his lap. I couldnt figure it out, as far as I knew Rose and Adrian didnt have kids... Thats when Dimitri moved slightly and the child turned.

I gasped, a hand flying to my mouth. I couldnt deny the resemblance... The child looked like my Dimka! She had his light hair and high cheek bones.  
But...But hes been with me everyday for the last few years... the child cant be his? can it?  
No... maybe one of the Belikovas are here and hes babysitting for them... I know Sonya was pregnant...

No thats not right either, her child was only born a few months back... This child looked to be atleast 2... 2 years old... He was with her 2 years ago...

Could the child be his and the bloodwhores?...No thats impossible...but...

I pulled out my phone and dialed Adrian. I figured if the child was Roses then he would know who the father really is...

"Hello?" He answered after three rings.

"Adrian, Its Tasha. Listen I have a question for you."

"O...k?" He asked warily.

"Does Rose have a daughter?"

He was silent for a few moments, "Why do you ask?" He spoke cautiously, practically confirming my thoughts.

"Because Im watching her play happy family with Dimka."

I heard his intake of breath and then him letting it out. "They arent playing... atleast Rose isnt...Hes the father. The real Biological. I dont know how and I didnt believe it at first, but its true, she had DNA done and everything." He almost growled through the phone. I knew how he felt for Rose, It was exactly what I felt for Dimka.

I refused to have him taken away from me though, just because that whore wanted to chain him down to a child he didnt know existed, She didnt even tell him she was pregnant! She doesnt deserve him! Maybe he doesnt know the child is his... maybe hes just being kind to the girl...

I snapped my phone shut, not bothering to say goodbye as I glared at the scene infront of me. The three of them were walking away now, Dimka had the child on his shoulders as she happily chatted away and the bloodwhore was walking beside them, a smile on her face as she watched.

My hands clenched into tight fists, that should be Me and Dimka! Me and Dimka with our child! I will make sure it happens that way. I refuse to lose him, especially to her!


	10. Chapter 10

Dinner at Rozas turned out to be extremely pleasant, I was expecting some awkwardness but there was none. Faith kept me occupied asking a million questions about me, I answered most of them truthfully. About where I was from, about my family back in Russia.

She asked alot about when I taught Rose to fight, even going so far as to declare that when she was old enough she would make me be her mentor whether I wanted to or not.

It wasnt untill after dinner was finished and Rose put her to bed that my night got interesting.

My phone started buzzing, I flicked it out to see an incoming call from Tasha. I had been waiting for her to call, either to apologise or tell me shes got a new guardian, I still wasnt sure just how angry at me she was... And with her anything was possible.

"Belikov." I answered formally, bracing myself for whatever was coming.

"Dimka? Where have you been? Ive been waiting for you to come home... I... I want to apologise for what I said, and the way I reacted. I wanted to do this in person..." she spoke quietly over the phone. It was a surprise to me, I thought for sure she was still mad...

"I figured I would give you some space, let you calm down before I even thought about coming back." I replied. Although I wasnt entirely lying, I was planning on seeing her eventually to sort things out, I had just been so preoccupied with Rose and Faith.

"oh... Well where are you now? We should catch up, maybe have dinner?"

"Ive already eaten," Rose took that moment to walk into the room, she paused when she saw I was on the phone, "Im actually busy at the moment, maybe tomorrow?"

"oh." she sounded like she had expected that, "Tomorrow then. Bye." and she hung up without waiting for my response.

I clicked my phone shut and looked up to see Rozas questioning face.

"Tasha."

"Oh..." was all she said as she smoothed her tshirt over her black jeans and made her way to the couch across from me, she sat down spreading her legs along the length of the three seater couch, where I would have been flailing my legs off the end she fit perfectly between the arms of the chairs. She was truely beautiful as she relaxed into the cusions, letting out a long breath.

"Stop looking at me like that Comrade." She laughed throwing one of the cusions directly at me.

I dodged to the left, narrowly escaping a hit in the face. "I cant help it. Youre beautiful." I shrugged, letting the smile creep onto my face as I watched the crimson blush creep onto hers.

She looked away and cleared her throat quietly. "So you said you want to get to know Faith, that you plan on staying around for her... what will that mean in _Her _case? I know she wont let you go without a fight." Rose asked, sitting up and shifting her legs onto the floor so that she was directly facing me. I knew who she was talking about, she didnt even have to say Tashas name, I could tell from the way she said 'Her'.

"Well Hanz seems to have unlimited jobs that need doing around here, he knows that Tasha threw me out so all I have to do is sign the reassignment paperwork, I was going to get it done tomorrow."

"She wont like that. Theres no way she'll let you, and she needs to sign the papers as well."

"Let me worry about that. Roza I am going to stay, I wont leave again ok. Dont worry."

"Who said Im worried?" She replied with a smirk on her face.

I moved from the couch and sat down beside her on the couch, close enough that our legs were touching and I pulled her hands into mine. The warm tingle that I had missed so much pulsed through me from where our bodies connected. "Roza, the other day you said you still Love me but you didnt know if it was enough... well I know it is. We've been apart for 2 years and yet right now it feels as though I never left, I still feel a tingle when we touch, I still love the smell of your hair, your skin, and the way you smile when you think no ones looking. I swear on my life that Im not going anywhere."

"Comrade..." She whispered as I placed my hands on both sides of her cheeks and pulled my face down to hers. Pausing with our lips only centimeters apart just to make sure it was ok. She didnt move away, she just stared into my eyes with so much love and passion it mirrored my own.

"I love you." I breathed just as our lips met in the sweetest, most passionate kiss we had ever shared. It was like all the pent up love and hurt, pain, regret and fear were all rushing to the surface, trying to find release in the moment of bliss. It was like everything was perfect, everything was right again after so long. Her lips moved in perfect sync with mine, the soft feel of them mixed with her warm sweet breath was like heaven. Her hands moved to my neck and twined their way into my hair, as though she could pull me even closer. My hands moved to the small of her back, pressing her closer to me. I couldnt get enough of her. This women was my angel, my soul, my Life. I would do anything for her.

We broke apart after a moment, she kept her hands in my hair, lightly stroking the skin on the back of my neck as she rested her forehead on mine and caught her breath. "God Ive missed that." She whispered.

I kissed her on the lips once more before kissing her forehead, lingering there for a moment.

"Shall we watch a movie? Or do you have to be somewhere else tonight?" She asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

"I dont have to be anywhere except here with you. Put on anything you like." I replied as she got up and put a DVD in, I didnt even bother asking what it was, I was just happy to be with her for a while longer tonight.

She pushed me back against the couch, cuddling herself between my body and the back of the couch, I wrapped one arm underneath her and lay the other one over her waist. It felt so normal and so right to be laying like this with her, being able to hold her like this, doing something as simple as watching a movie together. It was perfect.

Halfway through the movie I realised her breathing had leveled out and a light snore was escaping her lips. I gently pried myself from her arms, making sure not to wake her and draping a blanket lightly across her. She snuggled into the cusion with a smile on her sleeping face. I kissed her forehead before making my way towards the front door.

I reached for the handle but a small cough and then a sniffle caught my attention, I turned to see Faith standing in her bedroom doorway rubbing one of her eyes. I realised she had tears trailing down her cheeks as she sniffled again.

"Milaya whats wrong? Why arent you in bed?" I asked slowly walking towards her.

"I *sniffle* had a *sniffle* bad dream" She whimpered lifting both her arms up. I lifted her into my arms and walked her into her room again, I hadnt been in here before and I hoped Roza wouldnt mind. I didnt want to wake her up if I could get Faith back to sleep though.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked as she buried her head into my shoulder. She shook her head. "Well whatever it was it wont hurt you ok, It was just a dream." I tried to sooth her, it seemed to help since she stopped sniffling and was now wrapping strands of my hair around her tiny finger.

I gently pried her off and lay her back down in her bed, pulling the blankets back over her. I watched her for a moment as her eyelids fluttered and finally closed and her breathing evened out. I placed a kiss on her forehead and whispered in Russian, "Sleep well My daughter. I love you." before quietly walking out of Rozas house, making sure it was locked behind me.

* * *

I got back to my apartment, apparently in a daze the whole way there since I couldnt remember actually making my way there, to find Tasha leaning against it.

"Tasha what are you doing here?" I asked, clearly confused, It was pretty late for Moroi to be up afterall. "You havent been waiting since you called me have you?"

She shook her head, "No, only a couple of minutes. I needed to talk to you in person, can I come in?" She asked stepping away from the door so that I could open it.

"Sure."

She followed me inside, glancing around at the room with its bare walls and plain furniture before taking a seat in the single arm chair.

"So, what can I do for you?" I asked, wanting her to get straight to the point. I knew whatever it was would most likely ruin my happy mood.

"I wanted to make sure things are ok between us, I know the way I reacted was bad, I shouldnt have used my fire element in the way I did. It was wrong and Im so, so sorry Dimka-"

I held up my hand for her to stop, "Its fine, its all in the past, youre forgiven."

She smiled widely at me, clasping her hands together infront of her, "Great, well I figured I would let you know that since youre better and Im done seeing the queen that we will be heading back home tomorrow afternoon." She was still smiling but the blood had drained from my entire body.

I shook my head, "I cant go... Tasha Im not leaving, Im staying here." I said, keeping my voice as calm and sure as I could.

"But youre my guardian, You live with me, You have to come." She said sounding confused.

"No, Tasha I was going to talk to you about this tomorrow. Ive decided I need a change, Im going to transfer here and do some guarding around court. Hanz has cleared it so that I have a job and a house and everything I will need here, all I need is for you to sign the papers off as well."

"No! I wont sign them. Dimka you are MY guardian." She said, her voice raising to an almost shout.

"Thats not fair, You cant do that to me Tasha, this is what I want, I want to be here. I need to be here." I Didnt want to explain why, I didnt want to tell her that I wanted to be with Roza, and be with my daughter...

"No, you need to be with me, its what is best for you. You need to get over that bloodwh-"

"Dont you dare call her that Tasha, Ive told you before she is NOT a bloodwhore!" I growled at her. She barely even registerd my words before she carried on talking.

"She obviously is a whore, Dimka open your eyes. She has a child, shes obviously been sleeping around because it sure as hell isnt Adrians kid. And I really hope you arent falling for the bullshit shes trying to spin about it being yours."

I stared at her for a moment, she knew? "Who told you that?" I asked.

She folded her arms and leaned back into the chair, obviously pleased at my reaction.

"Adrian. He told me shes been spinning the same stupid storyline and making everyone believe it."

"Well believe it because its true. Shes my daughter, So im staying right here where I can be there for her." I said trying to sound as completely sure of myself as I felt.

"Dont be stupid! Its impossible! Two dhampirs cant procreate. Shes lying to everyone, Shes probably feeding the same lie to the girl so that you will believe it and she can live happily ever after. Dimka she doesnt deserve you after everything, theyre both going to end up bloodwhores anyway, dont let them drag you down with them."

I stood up abruptly from my spot and walked purposefully towards the door. "Natasha I refuse to hear you speak of Roza and MY daughter like that. Now I would like to get some sleep." I opened the door and waited patiently for her to get up and walk towards me.  
She paused infront of me and the open door. "Ill see you tomorrow to sign my reassignment papers. Now goodnight." I spoke calmly.

She didnt say anything, she just scowled at me before turning and walking out. She paused halfway down the hallway, turning just her head to me, "I wont let you go without a fight Dimka. You know its me you should be with." She spoke quietly, I wasnt sure if it was meant for me to hear or not but I closed the door before she could say anything else.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: italics is when hes in a dream! Lol**

I tossed and turned all night trying to get to sleep but I couldnt, my mind was on overdrive and I couldnt slow it down.

What did Tasha mean exactly when she said that she wouldnt let me go without a fight? Surely she wouldnt do anything to harm Roza? Shes not like that, she wouldnt purposefully hurt someone... I know she wouldnt...

Finally around 3pm (am in vamp time) I succumbed to sleep, my body falling into exhaustion.

_I found myself standing behind a closed door, the numbers 324 in big gold letters on the front. It was so familiar to me, like I should know this room... Only I couldnt put my finger on it. I raised my hand and knocked three times._

_A loud squeal sounded on the other side, followed by a very loud thump and footsteps pounding along the floor. _

_A few seconds later the door was thrown open and a girl was standing infront of me. She was tall for her age, reachingmy hips already although she only looked around 5 years old. Her large brown eyes sparkled as she looked at me, her long light brown hair fell down way past her waist and she smiled at me as she tilted her head to the side._

_"Daddy why did you knock? Its your house!" she giggled before turning and running back inside, I followed behind her down the hallway and into the large open living room. I looked around at all the photos on the walls and the crayon drawings posted up everywhere. I was in a lot of these photos, smiling and laughing with Roza and the girl who I suddenly realised was Faith... only she was definitely atleast 3 years older if not more._

_"Welcome home Comrade. Alek go give daddy a hug" _

_I turned at the voice I knew and loved, but the sight before me had my eyes widdening and my mouth dropped open. _

_My Roza was absolutely stunningly gorgeous, she was wearing a floorlength blue dress that hugged her waist and accentuated her protruding stomach... Wait... rozas stomach... Shes pregnant again, and this time Im here for her.  
__A large smile graced my face as I gazed at her, just as I was about to take a step towards her something tugged at the bottom of my duster._

_I looked down to see the most adorable little boy, dressed in a mini duster exactly like my own, his curly dark brown hair was loose hanging just above his shoulders. He stood with one hand grasping my duster and the other with his thumb in his mouth. _

_"Alekzandr" I smiled, reaching down and pulling him up into my arms. I dont know how but I knew this little boy and I loved him._

Buzzzzzz buzzzzzzz

My eyes groggily fluttered open and I rolled onto my stomach, reaching out and cursing at the ringing phone that had woken me from that amazing dream. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and go back to that life, to live carefree with my little family.

But when I flipped my phone open and answered it I was suddenly wide awake, sitting up and pulling on my boots.

"Roza, calm down Roza. Start from the beginning." I spoke as calmly as I could into the phone. She responded just as breathlessly as before, but a little slower so I was able to understand properly this time.

"Dimitri shes gone, Faith is gone. What happened last night? Where is she? You left when I fell asleep you have to know what happened!" She was practically screaming over the phone and I could hear her shuffling around and grunting as she must have been rushing around.

"Roza I tucked her back into bed and waited for her to fall asleep right before I left, I made sure the door was locked and everything was safe before I left. Are you sure shes just not hiding or something? Maybe Lissa came and got her?"

"No! She wouldnt play tricks like this, and Lissa would have woken me up and told me before she took her." she sounded like she was close to tears.

"Alright Roza, im on my way over, dont panic Milaya we will find her, she cant have gone far." I tried to sooth her but I could tell it wasnt working.

I stayed on the phone with her until I had made my way all the way across court to her apartment, she was standing at the door, phone at her ear and bouncing on the balls of her feet, she looked like she was about ready to burst.

"You've looked everywhere?" I asked, she just nodded her head, her eyebrows furrowed as she got deep in thought.

"who would do this? Who would take my baby?" she murmured, biting her bottom lip.

I scrolled through the contacts in my phone untill I reached Hanz.

"Guardian Hanz speaking." he answered after only one ring.

"Hanz its Dimitri, have you seen Faith Hathaway this morning?"

"No, why? Is she missing?" he asked, his voice raising slightly.

"Yes, Rose woke up to find her bed empty, shes searched the house and surrounding are-"

"Her windows broken, someone broke in and took her!" Roses voice cried from around the corner of the house.

I heard an intake of breath and then shouting through the phone. Hanz was barking out orders. "Tell her not to panic Belikov, Ill send out as many as I can to search the entire court, if shes here we will find her."

I paled slightly... if shes here... What if whoever took her, has already left court with her? We dont know when she was taken exactly, it could have been hours ago, it could have been right after I left... I should have just stayed! Damn it.

I hung up from Hanz and ran around the side of the house, Roza was on her knees tallking fast into her phone.

"No Liss, her window is smashed, someone took her! Yes im positive!" she was practically sobbing now, her sentences getting slurred so I snatched the phone from her.

"Lissa its Dimitri, I have spoken to Hanz hes sending guardians out to look for her." I spoke calmly into the phone.

"Oh God Dimitri, this is Bad. Who would want Faith. Shes just a child. She hasnt done anything to anyone." Lissa whispered, she sounded almost as distraught as Roza...

"Do you know of anyone that has anything against Rose? My guess it would be more to do with revenge on her that Faith." I asked. Suddenly something clicked in my mind. "Have you seen Tasha this morning?"

"Yeah, she was here for quite a while with Christian but she ducked out to the store a few minutes ago, and I dont know anyone that would be this angry at Rose... Except strigoi but they wouldnt be stupid enough to come into court, they couldnt anyway because of the wards." she rambled off.

Well there goes my theory, I felt bad almost straight away for thinking Tasha could be responsible for something as heinous as kidnapping a child. But that just made this all worse, we had no clue who has her, or where they are, or even why theyve done this.

I stood frozen in my spot, watching Roza as she stared at the broken window in front of her. I had never in my life seen someone look so completely, and utterly broken, scared, terrified. Her hand trembled as she bought it up to her mouth and I moved foreward with my arm outstretched as her knees bent and she crumpled to the ground. So completely shattered at the thought of her lost daughter.

My forgotten phone lay on the grass where I had unconciously dropped it on the ground but when it started buzzing furiously I grabbed it and flicked it to my ear without looking at the caller id.

"Belikov" I answered hastily.

"Dimka? Dimka its me, Im just calling to let you know that its ok. Im dealing with the problem now."

"What? What problem? What are you talking about Tasha?" I was completely lost in this conversation.

"dont worry, once Im done there will be nothing to come between us, no reason we cant be together."

Something clicked im my mind a second after I looked up to see Roza racing across the lawn at full speed. She must have heard the conversation and drawn her own conclusions.

"Tasha..." I tried to keep my voice level and calm, "where is Faith?"

"Im dealing with it Dimka, dont worry. Ill see you soon."

"Tasha wait, where are you?...Tasha!" it was no use she had already hung up.

I growled in frustration, dialing Hanz number as I got up and ran after Rose, I dont know if she knew where she was going but I had to catch up to Her.

No doubt shes on her way to christian and Lissas thinking that shes there... Thats wasting time though because I know shes not...

"Dimitri? I havent heard anything yet, I told you I'd-" Hanz began speaking on the other end of he phone.

"no, Hanz Tasha has her. She just rang me, do you know where she is right now? Shes lost her mind, something is wrong with her. Im afraid shes going to do something to harm Faith." I blurted out in a rush.

"hang on..." I heard shuffling and voices and then computer keys being typed on the other end before hans came back, "shes been seen over at guest housing about 15 minutes ago."

I clicked the phone shut without another word, pushing myself to run faster to catch Roza as she reached Lissas door.

"Roza! Guest housing! Shes not here shes at guest housing!"


	12. Chapter 12

A 15 minute walk took us less than 5 minutes to run to. I glanced at Rose out of the corner of my eye, she had a hard look of determination on her face, it was a look that Im sure even strigoi would have run from. But I knew my Roza, I knew she was cutting herelf off from her real emotions, I could see in her eyes the fear and distress that she was pushing back down.

I slowed slightly as we approached the long building, reaching out and grasping Rozas hand in my own. I squeezed it gently and nodded once at her hoping that it would reassure her. She gave me a tight smile before something caught her eye.

A horrified gasp escaped her lips and she ripped her hand from mine, racing into the main door of the building.

I looked up and my eyes widened too.

On the roof of the building I could see the shape of a women, black shoulder length hair waving wildly in the wind.

Tasha.

I bolted off after Roza, taking the main stairwell two steps at a time. Getting up the six stories in barely two minutes. The door at the top to the roof was still swinging open as Roza disappeared through it.

I followed her through it and froze when I took in the scene infront of me.

Tasha was standing by the edge of the building, her face scrunched up in anger. Her usually Sweet blue eyes were almost black and wild... She was holding Faith tightly against her chest, one hand gripping Faiths arm. She was muttering something unintelligable under her breath as she glared from Roza and then when she glanced at me her eyes softened, a sly smile twitched on her lips.

"Tasha please, you dont have to do this" I pleaded, my eyes flicking from her down to Faiths scared face. Her little eyes were puffy and red, I could see the salty wet trail of tears down her cheek, her light hair was messy and waving around her face. "Please Tasha let her go, shes just a child."

"Exactly Dimka, shes just a child, shes not yours so you shouldnt care. Ill let her go when the bloodwhore admits shes lying! Admits to everyone that shes a lying cow! This is NOT your child, its impossible, everybody knows it!"

I raised my hands, palms facing foreward as I looked beside me to where Rose stood frozen, her hands balled into fists at her side. If looks could kill then tasha would be buried six feet under already. I had to do something and fast, Im pretty sure Roza Would kill Tasha after what shes done.

"she will.." I spoke calmy, Rose gasped, looking at me as I carried on, "as soon as you let Faith go." she turned back to see tashas response to my request.

"no, shes a liar, we cant trust her." her grip on Faith tightened causing my daughter to cry out in pain and fear.

Before I knew what was happening Rose shot foreward, easily covering the distance in only a couple of steps, her hands gripped Faiths little body and she tore her from Tashas grasp and she threw Tasha to the side.

I moved foreward, arms reaching out as Rose pushed a now free Faith to me. My arms wrapped around her and my eyes closed for a second as I hushed my terrified trembling daughter.

I heard Tasha screech in anger and looked up to see her facing Rose, her fists encompassed in flames as she practically snarled in hatred at Roza.

I realised what Tasha was doing a moment too late. Tasha raised her hands at the same second, Lissa and Christian burst through the stairwell doors mixing the clank of metal against metal with Tashas scream of rage.

"Aunt Tasha No!" Christian yelled as Lissa just let out an ear piercing scream.

A giant fireball shot out from Tashas outstretched hands. Rozas eyes widdened and she took a step back. She must not have realised just how close to the edge of the building she had gotten because that single step backwards caused her to trip off the edge and she started falling. It was as though life slod down, everything was in slow motion.

"Rozaaaaa!" I yelled out, I didnt know what to do, Faith was crying and screaming in my arms, I didnt want to let her go again but I wanted so bad to rush to Roza, to try and catch her...

I know they say that when your dying your life flashes before your eyes, well I know it wasnt me that was going to die, but as my Roza fell back like that it felt like it was me. Seeing the sudden fear in her eyes, the 'O' her lips formed as hers arms flew foreward, I was transported back to the first time I saw her face, the first time we touched and the familiar tingle went through me, the first time we faught in the gym, the way her body felt under mine when I pinned her. I remembered all of our stolen kisses, the whispered I love yous, the night we first made love, I felt as though my life was ending...

"mummy..."

I was bought back by Faiths small whimper, I looked down to see her looking to where Roza had now disappeared over the side, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Its ok, shhh everything will be ok." I whispered as I placed a kiss on her head.

I was startled by a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see Lissa standing behind me, her face scrunched up in horror as she stared at the same spot as Faith, I dont think her mind was processing what had just happened though.

I instantly pushed Faith into her arms and bolted towards the side of the building where Roza had fallen, straight past where Tasha stood frozen, staring at the spot Rose had been standing seconds earlier, a look of surprise on her face as though she couldnt quite comprehend what she had done.

"Aunt Tasha how could you!" I heard Christian yelling, but I was too preoccupied with my task to bother with them.

I made it to the edge and took a deep breath before peering over the side of the building, praying with everything in me that it wasnt real, that I wouldnt see the love of my life laying bloody and broken six stories below...


	13. Chapter 13

My heart was hammering in my chest, I had to force myself to look over the edge. What if she really was dead? What if her body was shattered from the impact? I dont think I could handle seeing my Roza like that.

My Roza. My amazing, sweet, fierce, gorgeous Roza. The women I loved with all my heart and soul but I had ruined it, what a stupid ignorant fool. I needed her in my life, I needed her smiling face to light up the darkness, even if she never forgave me, never took me back, I just needed to know she was alive, being happy and living a full happy life raising our daughter...

And Faith, what would happen to her? She wouldnt have a mother, would she stay with me? Would I tell her who I really am? Or would Lissa and Christian take care of her? I didnt know what Rose wanted in this situation...

I finally plucked up the courage and peered over the edge, my heart stopped as I looked at my Roza... Only she wasnt alone down there. I could see a mess of light brown hair leaning over her... Adrian? And a girl on Roses other side. I focused my eyes on her until I realised who it was. Jillian Mastrano. Good atleast Roza isnt alone down there...

Roza... I looked closely at her, it was difficult to tell from this height but I could see that she was laying motionless on the ground, her beautiful dark brown hair was splayed out around her and her gorgeous tan face was facing straight up. I could see the dark brown of her eyes as they peered up at the sky... At me... I could feel the tears forcing their way to my eyes, blinking them back as I stared at the love of my life.

And then she blinked. I swear her deep brown eyes blinked. I thought at first it was a figment of my imagination, of my willing her to still be alive. But then she blinked again and I watched in total amazement as her lips turned up into a small smile!

I dont know how it was possible... A six storey fall should have killed her, should have shattered her bones...She should be dead only shes not, shes... Alive!

I smiled widely at her as Adrian helped her to carefully sit up before I turned my head back to the people on the roof.

My anger instantly rising as I looked at Tasha. The women who almost killed the women I love, the mother of my child. My smile instantly dropped and I glared at her.

"Dimka... Im... Im sorry... I-"

"Save it Tasha. You almost killed her! You almost killed the women I love! How could you!" I growled taking one step towards Her.

"almost?...Dimitri... Is Rose...?" Lissa spoke up quietly from where she kneeled holding Faith.

I looked at her, the smile creeping onto my face for a split second before I nodded!" Shes still alive."

Thats all it took, Lissa was up, clutching Faith in her arms and running for the main door and the stairs.

I turned back to Tasha. "I will never, Ever Forgive you for this Natasha. And I will make sure you are punished for your crimes. I cant even look at you anymore. Dont you ever come near me or Roza, or my daughter again." I made sure I put emphasis on 'my daughter' and then with one last glare I turned on my heels and bolted out the door following behind Lissa.

I could hear the sobs and cries from Natasha as I made my way through it but I couldnt bring myself to care. Christian followed behind me, his phone at his ear as he spoke to who I presumed was Head Guardian Hanz, informing him of what had happened and telling him that she needed to be arrested.

When I reached the bottom and got outside I stopped in my tracks.

Lissa was crouched beside Rose, gripping her hand in what could only be described as a death grip. While Faith had her tiny arms wrapped around her mothers neck as she cried into Roses shoulder. Rose had her other arm wrapped around her daughter clutching onto her for dear life. Her eyes closed as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Adrian murmured something to Rose from beside her and she opened her eyes, glancing at him a second before her eyes found mine. I was beyond relieved that she was ok, that old saying 'you dont know what you have until you lose it' ran around in my mind.

For a while up there I really believed she was dead, that I would never get to hear her voice, listen to her laugh, see her smile ever again.

"Roza..." I breathed taking a single hesitant step toward her.

She smiled up at me before gently removing Faith from her neck, asking Adrian for a hand up she slowly, carefully got up to her feet. Swaying only slightly as Adrian released his grip on her arm.

I barely had time to blink before she was in my arms, throwing her arms around my neck and burying her head into the crook of my neck. On instinct my arms went around her waist and I pulled her closer, breathing in that sweet scent that was purely my Roza.

"Comrade... I thought I was dead, I thought I was never going to see you agian..."

I felt her body shake with silent sobs, "shhhh, Roza its ok, youre here, youre safe, youre alive." I murmured reasurringly into her hair.

"I could have died... And never had the chance to tell you...I would have died and you wouldnt have known..."

I pulled back slightly so that I could see her face, using one hand to move the stray pieces of hair covering her eyes, I gently wiped away a tear that was rolling down her cheek.

She kept her eyes down as she sniffled. I knew she hated crying infront of people, she hated looking weak.

"Its ok Roza, you are alive, you arent dead, Im sorry I wasnt faster, Im so sorry I didnt see what a psycho she was becoming... I should have noticed sooner."

She shook her head finally looking up, her eyes were shining with fresh tears. "Its not your fault, nobody would have seen that coming, nobody. Dont beat yourself up about it. Besides like you said, Im alive. Thanks to Jill and Adrian." she smiled as she turned her head to look at them.

Jill had a bright red embarrased blush on her face and Adrian was grinning at her.

"Im so glad her element is wind." Rose laughed lightly before turning back to me. "She used the wind to slow my fall and Adrian caught me before I hit the ground. I kind of owe them my life."

"Your eternal servitude will be enough for me little dhampir." Adrian laughed and winked at Rose. Everybody laughed at that, it lifted the solemn mood a little.

"I think you should still get checked out Roza. Come on, Ill walk you to the clinic?" I asked softly in her ear, knowing how stubborn she could be if she didnt want to go, but I was surprised when she just nodded and released her arms from my neck.

She held her hand out to Faith who ran to her with a smile on her adorable little face. I was surprised when Roza reached out her other hand to me, taking hold of mine. The others followed behind us as we slowly made our way to the clinic.

It only took 15 minutes for her to be seen and sent home with no injuries, the doctor just told her to take it easy for a couple of days but other than that she would be fine.

I walked back to Rozas apartment with her, carrying Faith in my arms after she fell asleep at the clinic. Poor little angel must have been so worn out after everything that happened.

Roza opened the door to her house and motioned me towards Faiths bedroom. I put her down into her bed as gently as I could without waking her. Tucking the blankets over her I watched her sleep for a moment, Roza standing beside me stroking Faiths hair.

"Comrade I... I forgive you." she suddenly whispered.

I was so surprised by this admission that I just stared at her, wondering if I had heard wrong. I didnt expect her to ever forgive me for leaving like I did, for abandoning her when she needed me most.

She took my hand and led me out of Faiths room and down to the sitting room where we sat on the couch. She turned to face me, still holding my hand in hers.

"I never thought I would ever be able to forgive you, but after today, seeing how short life could be... Holding a grudge, being mad at you... Its not worth it. When I was... When I was falling all I could think was that you didnt know that I still care, that I still love you-"

That was all I needed to hear. I dropped her hand and placed both of my hands on her cheeks. I could see it, I could see the love and the hope in her eyes and I could only hope that mine mirrored hers.

"I am sorry, so so sorry Roza. I shouldnt have left you, I shouldnt have gone. But Im here now, and I promise you that I am not going anywhere ever again, I will be here to protect you and Faith if youll let me, I love you both so, so much."

I leaned foreward and brushed my lips against hers, the shiver ran down my spine as I felt her lips mold around mine. Her arms wrapped around my neck as mine slipped down to her waist.

In that moment, being back with my Roza, life was perfect... Well almost perfect.

After a long while I pulled back, resting my chin on her head and holding her as close as I possibly could.

"Roza I love you, so much. I love Faith too, Im sorry I wasnt around for the last 2 years of her life. Its something I will regret until the end of my days... But now Im back and I will be here for her... If youll let me?" I dont know why I was afraid but I was. I suddenly wondered wether she would say no, that she didnt want me anywhere near our daughter...

"We can tell her who you really are tomorrow. For now we'll let her sleep, which... Speaking of sleep..." She trailed off as she got to her feet and pulled me up with her. "stay with me tonight?"

I didnt answer her, Im pretty sure the smile on my face gave her my answer as I swept her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom bridal style and fell asleep with my Roza wrapped in my arms.

* * *

**thanks for the reviews :) the next chapter will be the epilogue and the end of the story. **

**Xoxxox love to all my readers and followers xoxoxoxoxxx**


	14. Chapter 14

***this is very very short, (I couldnt remember if jill was air or water element so bare with me lol) but enjoy* *and feel free to read my other stories!***

****** 5 Years later ******

"Faith come on! Lets go, go, go missy!"

"Coming daddy, hold on... Wheres my other shoe?"

"check under your bed."

Silence..."Found it!"

I heard her stamping down the stairs as I opened the front door, lifting the bag onto my shoulder just as she ran past me.

I chuckled as I watched my 7 year old daughter skip down the footpath, her long wavy light brown hair waving around behind her. She turned around and grinned at me with that gorgeously cheesy smile that showed her dimples. Her deep brown eyes were like mirror images of her mothers.

"Come on daddy hurry up, Uncle Chrissie is going to eat all the good stuff!" She stamped a foot untill I started walking.

We jumped into our shiny new black SUV and I drove the 5 minutes down to the lake just outside of court. It was still within the wards but far enough from the buildings that it felt like we were in the country side.

"Mommy!" Faith squealed as we pulled up and hoped out of the van.

She sprinted down the small hill towards the small group of people sitting around a picnic table. I watched from the top of the hill as Lissa turned and waved to Faith before turning back to yell at one of her two twins.

Around four years ago her and Christian had identical twin boys, both blonde haired and blue eyed. They were double trouble obviously taking after Christian with their sarcastic attitudes.

My eyes then fell onto the gorgeous beauty that was standing beside the table, leaning down and holding hands with a baby. I smiled as she helped our son waddle along on his chubby little legs. She slowly released his hands and clapped as he swayed slightly but managed to stay upright.

He was only 10 months old but he was learning so fast, Roza looked up as Faith barreled into her side, giving her mother a kiss and then jumping up onto the table.

I made my way down the hill towards my family.

"Daaaa" Alek smiled and gurgled when he saw me, I stopped and knelt down opening my arms out three steps away from him. He looked slightly unsure before he wobbled but took his first steps towards me. Clenching and unclenching his fists at me.

"Oh my gosh! Well done baby!" Roza clapped her hands as I scooped Alek up and swung him around and kissed his cheek.

Roza walked over and wrapped her arms around the two of us.

"Hi Comrade, Took you long enough to get here, Im starving" she smiled as she leaned up to kiss me.

"yeah, your daughter has taken after you in the time management department." I chuckled as she scowled playfully at me.

We ate our dinner as we watched the sun rise slowly over the horizon. Alek fell asleep in his pushchair and Faith was chatting away with the Dragomir-Ozera twins.

I sat on a blanket with my Roza leaning back against my chest, I could smell the sweet vanilla scent of her hair swirling around me and feel the beat of her heart mixing with my own.

I never dreamed my life would turn out this way. Not after the way our relationship started out...

But here I am, married to the women of my dreams, with a seven year old daughter who acts like her mother and a son who I can raise to be strong and protective. Theres nothing in this world that I could ever want more.

"I love you Comrade." She whispered as she tilted her head so she could look up at me. I bent down and gently brushed my lips against hers, it was a sweet, gentle kiss.

"I love you too my Roza, Forever."


End file.
